Happiness Found, Despite Misunderstanding of Church Teaching


Never Judge Too Quickly

It took over five years, but Elizabeth and Charles have come around to telling their success story.

It’s a success that had the way paved for it by a family member; Elizabeth’s sister found her husband on CatholicMatch and encouraged her to go the same route.

It was a path Elizabeth was prepared to try; she’d given Match.com a fair shake, but to her dismay, most of the men she encountered weren’t exactly of the value system she was looking for. “Most guys there just wanted one thing…if you know what I mean.”

She found the polar opposite on CM, which in a way aroused her skepticism even more. “Being a city girl, I was always skeptical,” the Chicago native recalled.

Elizabeth’s first matches on CM did not meet with instant success. Potential relationships fell by the wayside due to misunderstandings about the faith. “I found that I did not know my faith the way these guys expected me to,” Elizabeth recalled. “I didn’t know what NFP [natural family planning] was and I ended relationships thinking they wanted me to be some sort of baby maker. So right when I was going to give up…I read and asked my sister about NFP. It all became more clear.”

Elizabeth came to see the beauty of NFP and the respect it pays to both wife and husband. A wise lesson to all about not judging a situation or person too quickly.

A long-distance search yielded results. Elizabeth tried a California search shortly after having her misunderstandings of Catholic teaching regarding NFP and on that search she found Charles. For the next three months they spent time via e-mail and the phone getting to know each other, when it was deemed time to take the leap and meet in person. He came to the Windy City, and it was after a good time together that Elizabeth suspected she’d found her true soul mate. It wasn’t anything earth-shattering that tipped her off, but rather the simple: “When it was over, I didn’t want him to leave.”

Because of the distance between them, they made the most of their visits to see one another. “They were really more like short vacations,” Elizabeth said. And they produced their share of humorous stories. Charles’ brother composed a humorous song about them on his guitar. On Elizabeth’s first visit west, his father candidly asked her when she was going to bear his son’s children.

Today Elizabeth and Charles live in California, have wed and have two small children, 3-year-old Berandette and 1-year-old Vincent. “Don’t assume that everyone is clear on the teaching of the Catholic faith just because they are on CM,” Elizabeth reminds other members. Be open minded about each others’ Catholic upbringing and help each other become better at living the faith.”

Elizabeth’s story is dedicated to her sister, whose own anniversary falls on the Feast of the Sacred Heart Jesus and whose success set the path for the happiness that Elizabeth and Charles found and the happiness their children will bring into the world.





22 Comments

  1. Marian-477145 September 10, 2010

    wow! what a nice love story.. hope i’l soon find my soulmate at CM too. Thanks for inspiring others CM members :-)

  2. David-490169 September 11, 2010

    I think this is a great story, because it shows we have to be patient with this site. Being Catholic seems to mean different things to different people, and this also seems to depend on which part of the country we grew up in, and sometimes even what diocese we live in.

  3. Renee M. September 11, 2010

    Beautiful story!

  4. Barbara-573224 September 13, 2010

    Good reading I understand alot of where you are coming from God Bless you and your family….

  5. Virgi-374734 September 13, 2010

    How nice “Congratulations”

  6. Nancy-627110 September 20, 2010

    Very nice story – this will keep me more open minded about online dating. I have always been very skeptical about the whole idea, but for some reason CM gives me some sort of relief. May God guides us all in finding that soul mate so we can all live in grace. Blessing to all.

  7. Candace-587406 September 24, 2010

    I’m looking for someone who answers 7/7 when it comes to the faith questions, especially when it comes to sex and birth control.

  8. Beutiful story!! patient is one of the virtues must have with CM.

  9. Lauren-488188 October 17, 2010

    We all have one soul mate – His name is JESUS.

  10. Aggie-385731 October 20, 2010

    Elizabeth, your story is an truly inspiring. It has made me realize that the friendships and connections we make in CM doesn’t only have a purpose of fulfilling the search for the “one”. It is also about helping each other learn and grow more about the faith. Thanks for sharing your story!

  11. Lynea-297530 November 1, 2010

    The primary purpose of marriage is the procreation and education (rearing) of children. (See, “Casti Canubi” encyclical.)

    • Kwaku-654846 October 19, 2011

      I’m not so sure. I think the primary purpose is to share/build a life together in Christ. Having children is of secondary importance. Otherwise there would be no reason for people who are incapable of having children to get married….and (lack of) fertility would be a grounds for an annulment.

      • Paul-709408 November 14, 2011

        You have an interesting point, Kwaku. However, your statement seems to imply that maybe everyone should get married. Have you considered that perhaps many married couples incapable of having their own children are instead called to adopt and raise orphans or other children in bad situations resulting from sin? Also, do you think that the institution of marriage, made holy by God, would exist in the same way, if at all, if God chose to bring people into this world without the use of parents? Also, this would seem to be a reasonable argument that God would condone gay marriages. Just something to ponder.

      • Paul-709408 November 14, 2011

        I do absolutely agree that it all begins and ends with Christ and working toward heaven, and even that ultimately reaching heaven (yourself and spouse) is of greater importance than children (as children are great… but do tend to move out and become adults and make their own decisions), not to in any way undermine the importance of properly educating and loving children.

  12. Frank-610981 November 18, 2010

    I was going to opt out of this site thinking that many of the women didn’t know or just didn’t care about what the church teaches about faith/morals. But after reading this story, I’ll stay and challenge everyone to prayerfully learn/accept what the Church teaches. The why? does God through His Church teach this. Simply because He wants all to be with Him. Forever. Now that’s true love. ‘For God so loved the world that He gave his only begotten Son , that whosever believes in Him should not die but have everlasting life”. But sin promises death . But love promises life . Isn’t all of us trying to find true love on this website? But first we must love Him that gave us His all. By giving His all. By dying for us. Now we must sacrifice and die for Him.By saying No to ourselves ,the world, and to the devil. Each and every day. Impossible you say? It is for us, but not for Him.Pray that He’ll help you. Also the graces in the Sacrament of Reconciliation or otherwise known as Confession. It’s there for the asking . May God bless you and have a wonderful day.

  13. Luna-708527 August 26, 2011

    Wonderful story! God bless your family!

  14. Emily-766818 October 4, 2011

    Thats My sister! Actually two of my sisters have found Love on CM <3 There is Hope! We just have to beleive in God and love him enough to be patient.

  15. Linda-666928 October 16, 2011

    YO NO ESTOY DE ACUERDO QUE UNA MUJER TENGA QUE IR A VER OTRO HOMBRE EN OTRO PAIS,PORQUE SI ES EL EL CABALLERO NO VA EL AL PAIS DE ELLA???

    LA COLOCA ELLA EN RIESGO DE QUE LE PASE ALGO MALO.

  16. Paul-709408 November 14, 2011

    Good story, good words of wisdom to not assume everyone understands the Church’s teachings fully, and good motivation to actually research the teachings of Christ’s Church.

  17. I like to read articles in this section, actually it is one of the main reasons, I still the open the CM page, since I have not found a “true soul mate” as Elizabeth mentioned, It is a happy thing to see you could, because God has so much love for all of us, 5 years of marriage and blessed with two children, this was a very touching and inspiring story, God bless your family, and I will remain praying to my dear Lord, if it is in his plans and on his time, for me to find “my own true soul mate” : )

  18. Bernadette H. April 20, 2012

    I hope they are one of the good model as a married couple after they met as a soul mate CM.
    I wish them success in their marriage and may our Lord bless all the married couples.

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