A Hurt Past Transformed To A Hopeful Future


Alaina's past had been troubled, but her future is looking bright.

Everyone comes to CatholicMatch with a past and for some those bruises can be harder to heal than for others. At its heart is the question “Am I really worthy of a good Catholic spouse?”

Alaina was confronted head-on with that question. The girl in her late 20s had already been through some rough patches when it came to romance. Six relationships had come and gone, and left her increasingly skeptical of the idea of finding true love. What’s more, true love wasn’t even something she dreamt of—“ I never pictured myself with Prince Charming,” she said. “My Barbies never got married to Ken…they were more like characters from Sex and the City. Ken was around, but he was more of a side character. He was there when Barbie wanted him around. ”

In spite of this skepticism toward lasting love and commitment, Alaina not only got into relationships, she fell in love hard. And each failure chipped away at her heart, leaving her increasingly hardened.

Deep down, she wanted someone and she wanted to be happy, but already on the way to being jaded, she didn’t believe it was out there. The advice she got not to “settle,” made her laugh. “Settle for what?” she wondered “It was some pretty slim pickings out there and I felt that regardless of who I dated it really didn’t matter.”

At the age of 27, Alaina ended a bad relationship and decided to go off on her own. Finding herself initially put her down the wrong path and a series of bad decisions put her behind life’s eight-ball. One day a coworker encouraged her to get online and try CatholicMatch. Coming from a large Catholic family, Alaina joked that finding someone here would be her mom’s wildest dreams.

But there were doubts.

“I was no angel,” she said bluntly. “I had made my fair share of horrible choices, especially lately. Why would any guy of value or standards want to date me?”

Alaina found she had been selling herself short. After getting on CatholicMatch she found someone (whose name she would prefer to keep private) who was very much like her father. It took time for her let her guard down after so many previous hurts.

But bit by bit, she saw how much this man cared for her. “He wanted me to follow my dreams, and he wanted nothing in this world more than to see me happy…I loved this man. I saw my future when I looked into his eyes.”

Unlike other relationships, Alaina actually fought this one and tried to resist falling in love. But real love overwhelmed her doubts and healed her broken sense of self-worth. What this one man gave her is a window into what God offers everyone.

There’s an old saying that the Catholic Church isn’t a sanctuary for saints, it’s a hospital for sinners. In many ways, that is true of CatholicMatch as well, as broken human being search for the person to make their journey of salvation with. Alaina started her new journey with her wedding last September.






5 Comments

  1. Paul-99681 December 26, 2010 Reply

    Hello
    I thought this was a touching story not only for it’s content but the fortitude in putting it into print.
    Yes sadly often and perhaps more then we care to admit that most of us are not without some “battle scars” in the quest to find our one and only but still while on the surface even with stories from our past that we long since emotionally recovered from much others that still hurt , How many of us are hesitant to share them because despite all of all this we don’t want others that we encounter to assume that we have excessive baggage or live to much in the past .

    The truth is everyone on this site has issues because no matter what age we happen to be, we all have lived through a considerable portion of our lives and how do you measure where a person is emotionaly able to enter a reltationship or is “catholic” enough to meet our standards?

    The best way to find out is to not let this be the deciding factor what makes you turn away and not judge but just to take the time to get to know them also as a good Catholics don’t you think these reasons are the worst ever to push someone away ?

    I have always been an open person because even though I have been trough some very unpleasant experiences .I always felt emotionally secure enough to be right out with them and one reason is believing that the past is just as real as the future and embrace whatever I can learn from but also sharing this with others and them theirs with me ,sadly if this won’t work …..All learning stops and the lesson is over .

    So thank you Alaina for sharing your experiences and if I had interpreted it correctly , the message within!

    God Bless everyone

    Paul !

  2. Jeanie-654424 December 29, 2010 Reply

    I would like to fall in love for the final time. I want to love someone, and i want to be loved by someone I am finding it impossible to find any man who is compatible for my life style. I would like suggestions as to what dating site might be the best. I have a lot to bring to the right person who would want me.

  3. Geraldine-316458 December 30, 2010 Reply

    Alaina, I love your story. I was like you 30 plus years ago. I was so dissolutioned that I did not date for a long time. When I got back on the dating scene, it was the same thing. The guys I fell for only wanted to use me for one thing and then dump me.

    I’m in this site because I want to find a good Catholic man who wants me for myself, who will respect me, cherish me and honor me as his wife. I’m much better at spotting players than I was before. I don’t want to fall in love with them until I know they feel the same way about me. In other words, I’m guarded but the propensity for giving and receiving love is still there.

  4. Roseanne-557920 January 1, 2011 Reply

    That is touching me deeply. This is what I needed to read tonight. Thank you and God Bless and Congratulations.

  5. Esmeralda-672513 January 17, 2011 Reply

    How romantic. Is just what I needed to read.

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