‘I Like Everything About You, But I Won’t Do Long Distance’


Krystina took the initiative and went to John, overcoming his doubts about long-distance.

John wasn’t exactly open to the idea of long-distance when he met Krystina. Nor was he even all that open to dating in general.

He’d just relocated to Michigan, started a new job and bought a home. There was plenty of settling in to do, and he was determined not to bring dating into the equation.

The one caveat to all this was that he still had an active CatholicMatch membership and couldn’t resist the urge to see who was in his area. A little time spent online and he decided to just open up a 500-mile radius and see what the tide brought in.

The answer to that was Krystina.

He found her interesting and read her complete profile. His initial message to her won’t go in the annals of incredibly romantic greetings: “I wish you lived closer. I like everything about you, but I won’t do long distance.”

She wasn’t ready to give up so easily. A reply message came saying simply, “We will make it work. I will come to you.”

Krystina was true to her word and came to him – not just once, but twice. And John eventually returned the favor, flying to Massachusetts.

To cope with long distance, Krystina emphasized the importance of establishing rituals they would do together. They’d make a point of doing little things like brushing teeth or working out at the same time. “Sharing things like these encouraged good behavior in both of us,” John said. These are things we can count on to add stability to our day when we begin a new life together too.”

After her second visit to Michigan, Krystina again took the initiative and insisted they both close down other dating possibilities to focus on each other.

“That was hard,” John recalled. “I had not looked around locally yet, and I did not want long distance! But over the course of another month, it became clear – through prayer, and other means – that I needed to step up to the plate.”

It was after 18 months of traveling back and forth and spending a lot of money on airline tickets that John took Krystina to Mass at a shrine in Royal Oak, Mich. devoted to St. Therese of Lisieux. It was at the shrine that gave her the engagement ring and asked her to marry him.

“I expected her to need a week to think about it,” John told CatholicMatch. “But the response ‘yes’ was so certain I was stunned for a bit. And then we went to Mass, engaged.”








19 Comments

  1. Katrina-645399 December 9, 2010 Reply

    Warmest congrats you two for “going the distance”!
    My challenge is that I live in the Caribbean so most “potentials” that I may meet on CM are already writing me off. Geez people it’s a big world that’s shrinking with air travel (it takes hours not weeks like before) technology (communicating is instant: email versus snail mail) Skype, etc… Embrace it!! Use it!!
    Of course I’d love to meet someone closer to home, ( I might actually be on a dinner date by next week if HE were closer to me). Instead I look at CM as the old fashioned way of really getting to know someone in the truest, old fashioned way, you know without the clutter and distraction of human interaction. Of course I am not minimising the importance of physical chemistry and the initial face2face attraction, but at this stage of MY life, it’s more than the physique. It’s the mind, the easy conversation, the mutual respect and the friendship that will carry us forward together with Christ. And CM is allowing this to happen.
    May I be so bold as to say many who are divorced and looking again have a different value system in choosing a mate this time around..with age does come wisdom and need I say experience? So, this is specifically for the gentlemen: I’m not so far away.. no where is “far” any more and that’s a good thing… Rivers know this: there is no hurry. I shall get there someday.
    and I’d like to share this: “Though miles may lie between us, we’re never far apart, for friendship doesn’t count the miles, it’s measured by the heart.”
    Peace and Blessings for a joyful Christmas! Katrina

    • Maria-336468 December 10, 2010 Reply

      Very good! Congrats to the happy couple. And thanks to Katrina for her comment. I also live at the Caribbean and can relate to what she explains. Peace!

  2. Eliana-591333 December 9, 2010 Reply

    Encouraging story ! LDR is even more romantic ; ) God Bless John and Krystina in their marriage

  3. Jeff-406043 December 11, 2010 Reply

    This is such an encouraging story and proof that a LDR can work. There are so many people out there including some friends and even family who can discourage someone from pursuing a LDR. They mean well, but at the end of the day, we must follow our heart and do what we think is right. These two did just that and look what happened. Congratulations!

  4. Barrett-588368 December 14, 2010 Reply

    Thanks for this story. I have so much going on in my life. Work is hard and I’m going back to school, so I was looking for someone near me. But if I am truely open to God’s plan, I won’t close myself to possibilities. I have tried to plan everything in my life, but I can’t do that. I am strong in my faith, but sometimes it’s hard to trust in God if you don’t see where you are going yet. I came across someone’s profile who is a few hours away and the thought of not wanting a long distance relationship melted away. If it’s part of God’s plan it will work out. Now I’m just hoping she sends me a message back ;-)

  5. Sean-142793 December 15, 2010 Reply

    . . .Once upon a time in a Land far far away. . .ha

  6. Alan-661779 December 18, 2010 Reply

    This is the best site and very safe as well too. I really thank God for this site everyday. I cant wait to find my wife soon on here . Lol Just cant wait

  7. Kwaku-654846 December 18, 2010 Reply

    Unbelievable! Wow! Congratulations!

  8. Rod-400535 December 27, 2010 Reply

    Cool…brought tears to my eyes!

  9. Vernice-593987 December 28, 2010 Reply

    Beautiful story, and a most fitting beautiful first comment. Katrina, I understand too, especially your comment about how “Rivers know this: there is no hurry. I shall get there someday.”

    I am also located far far away from where most CMers are, USA. Noticed in the Places Travelled section, many have never travelled to Asia, much less may know where Singapore is even. We are a little RedDot which roars in South East Asia.

    Yes, with modern technologies, distance is not that great an obstacle, and it is the best way to keep chaste in a relationship and learn to communicate better, and to find a match, brainlength, an dnot be hijacked by hormones or physicality or such.

    When LDRs work, you know the couple is definitely going to survive the long term, as they have already overcome the distance.

    LDRs FTW (that’s For The Win in teen-speak).

    Blessed Christmas and may 2011 be a much better year for us all.

    God Bless,
    Vernice
    Singapore

  10. Nicole-658685 December 28, 2010 Reply

    I like this story because it gives me hope. I hope God sees fit to send someone my way like this.

  11. Michael-206027 December 29, 2010 Reply

    Best of luck to them. Not sure I could make that determination that quick. Not time wise, but experience wise. I am open to being swept off my feet. I must admit, I am not in the situation.

  12. Roseanne-557920 December 31, 2010 Reply

    Sure, LDR works if you work for it, not against it. :D
    Grats!!

  13. Krystina-190158 January 3, 2011 Reply

    There is actually a lot more to this story that did not get posted. When I first met John I was unsure about weather or not he was “The One” for me. My second visit to see him was more an attempt to get to know him better and see if there were any quirks or red flags that I had missed and was convinced would pop up – that had been my previous experience on CM (ladies beware of wolves in sheeps clothing) . We had a lot of differences and I wasn’t sure about the chemistry. He loved cold weather, I liked warm weather, he loves watching movies – me not so much, I love seafood and cooking with garlic and he is allergic to both – I thought to myself “could this possibly be the man for me”. I discerned for many months and even broke it off a few times and continued to pray. After some time I realized that he was a stable force in my life and I found it incredibly touching when he went out and colored his hair blond because he once heard me say that I had a dream and my husband-to -be in the dream had blond hair. Over and over again he proved himself to me…..even when I was doubting, on my moody days and despite the long distance. When a man chooses you as his beloved he will put forth much effort to see you and long distance will be a minor obstacle. Do not settle for less ladies and don’t sell yourself short!

  14. Jacqueline-198 January 6, 2011 Reply

    It goes to show what we want and what God wants for us are sometimes very different, but…John got more than he bargained for right? and so did Krystina! God Bless!

  15. Barb-505508 January 8, 2011 Reply

    Congratulations to both of you!!!! It is such a pleasure to hear that you worked together to become “one”. What a great basis you have for married life!

    I am also in a LDR with a very sweet man. We are in love and have 8 children between us, half who are grown and on their own. The other half are in college and high school, so this will remain a challenge for us, but I believe that God has been in the driver’s seat on this one and I pray that His will be done.

  16. Linda-670646 January 8, 2011 Reply

    Beautiful and encouraging. It shows that we shouldn’t give up even when we get a message like “I wish you lived closer. I like everything about you, but I won’t do long distance.” lol God bless you on your journey.All the best!

  17. Betty-573079 January 23, 2011 Reply

    wonderful couple. your story was wonderful i have tired relationship from far away but doesnt work. men are lazy they dont like to travel.you guys were blessed i will say a prayer for a long relation.

  18. Ann-69118 July 5, 2013 Reply

    It can work if you have the money to travel apparently. I wouldn’t be interested in a guy who wasn’t willing the travel to me though.

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