But one of the most persistent observations I encounter among this feedback is that singles become frustrated because of a misguided approach to and use of a dating website.
The whole idea of romance is a complicated, messy subject. There are hundreds, if not thousands of books on the subject, endless blogs, and countless TV shows – online dating can’t possibly change that because it can’t change our humanity.
Yet I see so many CatholicMatch members use online dating in a manner that ignores the fact that they are dealing with a human issue and not simply a technological one. Thus, I read responses about how they are frustrated the man or woman they have “dialed up” through the website is not instantly appearing before them.
It is not uncommon for me to read feedback where from singles who are discouraged about not being able to find the “right person” or from those who feel as though the response of users on the site is not the way they think it should be.
If you want to see how things don’t always work out the way people intend, just read some of our members’ success stories; they are filled with descriptions of how they were looking for something but found real happiness in an unexpected way.
Rapid search results
Because the web has changed the way we find things, it is not illogical to think that it has also changed the way we view the pursuit of a potential spouse. Searching for a product on Amazon or information on Google or a colleague on Facebook all reinforce the idea that you can plug in certain criteria and you will get exactly the results you want.
While this approach works for electronics or vacations, it is rarely so simple when dealing with your future husband or wife. This is especially true for people of faith who understand the role God plays. While technology brings many benefits, it can allow us to focus on what we want rather than what we might need. As a result we can devote too much thought to others’ traits and not enough on improving our own.
Technology is a wonderful thing, and I am sure the thousands of couples who found their spouses on CatholicMatch and other singles websites are grateful such an online service exists. But technology is just a tool; it is up to us to use it in a beneficial and healthy way.
The next time you are sifting through profiles, remember: This is CatholicMatch, not Netflix, and newest members are not like newest releases. Unlike the movies, which are designed to provide two hours of entertainment, meeting the right guy or girl is a completely different type of search – delivering a happiness that can’t be measured by clicking on one to five stars.