When all the holiday events and parties have come to an end, it’s easy to feel like a deflated balloon laying on the floor. Aside from the 12 days of Christmas and the Feast of the Epiphany observances that only a few Americans tend to celebrate, January can seem like one big dead zone.
But I have a great suggestion for you if you’d like a way to turn that dead zone into something special and exciting, not only in January but the entire year: create a life program!
As a post-divorce coach, a life program is something I advocate a lot to my clients. Especially since we are starting a new year (and Archbishop Dolan just reminded us that God is “eager to give us a fresh start”), I want to share this with you now so you can have something real and concrete to help you achieve meaningful personal and spiritual goals, which translates into a happier and more attractive person.
The life program is a practice of our Catholic faith that has been around for a long time, and I’ve adjusted it slightly to help each client move past divorce, but it can be used by anyone in any situation. The best thing about a life program is the fact that you tailor it to fit your own circumstances. This helps you to heal more completely from your divorce or other failed relationship and sculpt a new life.
The first step
The most important aspect of this program is defining who you are and what your life looks like when you are happy, looking to the future and seeing yourself the way you would be if everything in your world were as right as it could be. Are you someone whose bills are paid and has savings? Are you in a happy relationship? If you have to work, what would your work scenario look like? If you have children, what does your relationship with your children look like? What does your relationship with your ex-spouse look like? What does your relationship with God look like?
These are all questions, although not limited to these, that should help you determine what the happy version of yourself is in the future. Here’s an example:
- I am happy because I have remarried in the Church
- We live where it’s warm most of the year
- I work part-time from home
- My children live with us and are happy because my ex-spouse and I have been able to become peaceful toward each other
- I have a chocolate lab named Mocha
- I am a better Catholic than I was before the divorce
- My life is full of joy
To really make an accurate and intimate definition of yourself, I highly recommend finding an adoration chapel somewhere and spending an hour with Jesus, asking for His assistance. Because He wants you to heal and improve, I know you can count on His guidance. Take an hour and don’t take a cell phone.
In my next post, we will look at step two. In the meantime as always, count on my prayers for you.