It was the blaring horn and bright headlights that woke me up that night.
I was driving home from an evening out with a really nice guy I had been dating for a few months and he broke it off. I was so upset that I was not paying attention to the road in front of me and was beginning to venture into the lane of oncoming traffic on this two-lane road as it began to curve to the left. And that horrible sound of the horn coming from a desperate driver slapped me across the face as I instantly jumped back into my own lane.
But all I could do was wonder why? Why was I finding myself in the exact same position of being on the wrong end of a relationship over and over? What was I doing wrong?
Another potential “great relationship” ended in huge disappointment and every time this happened, I was reminded of my failed marriage. I was reminded of the reasons why my ex-husband said he didn’t want to stay married to me. I was reminded of the fact that I was yet another year older. I was reminded of the extreme loneliness I felt that most divorced people feel, even though they may be surrounded by people.
And suddenly, I became sick and tired of being sick and tired. I’m not going to live like this. I needed to – no had to do something different. And that’s when I told myself: GAME ON!
The next morning as I sipped my coffee, I spotted something interesting in the diocesan paper that had arrived in my mailbox the day before. There was a silent retreat for women coming up the next weekend.
“Hmmm,” I thought. Maybe that’s what I need right now?” I felt a little bit of relief and enthusiasm mixed together.
“Oh, but it costs $250 for the weekend, so probably not.”
I had talked myself out of it as soon as I had agreed it was a good idea, but for the next few days, I felt I was being called by the Holy Spirit to attend. I called the number in the ad and found that they had one place left. I took it. I made my reservation.
But when I hung up the phone, I had a brief attack of buyer’s remorse.
“Wait a minute,” I thought. “Can I even really be quiet for an entire weekend? Can I really not talk to anyone for 48 hours?” Hmmm…maybe I shouldn’t go after all.
But I ended up going, and I experienced one of the greatest spiritual consolations in my life on that retreat. My divorce had broken me down, and even though it was years later, I could see now that I still had some issues that were holding me back. As I drove away from the retreat house that Sunday afternoon, I knew I had been given a powerful tool that would help me truly get past the shame of my divorce and would be indispensable as I moved forward: a life program. It became the vehicle that accelerated my ability to be the person I new I was capable of being, not some sad, lonely person who wished things were different.
Here are my last two suggestions:
First, look at your life program every day. I keep mine in my prayer book so when I open it up in the morning, I have to see it. And I don’t focus on the obstacles, I focus on my action items, the practical things I said I would do that would help me overcome those obstacles.
And second, change it up! After a year of working on your plan, review it, see how much progress you’ve made, and then adjust it to fit the new you. You will be amazed at how much progress you can make in just a few months.
I’ve had a life program for 16 years now and I will be forever grateful to the ones who gave me this powerful and effective tool. I will never be the same because of it. So if you’re sick and tired of being sick and tired, get serious about using your life program to change your life for the better.