Single life can be incredibly lonely sometimes. Painfully so.
Yet sometimes I get used to having a single heart. I toughen up, get involved and I’m too busy to notice that I’m alone.
I’m having fun with my girlfriends, taking family trips, meeting new people and having a blast. I don’t even think about dating…until a totally cute, eligible suitor walks in and my life comes to a screeching halt.
Is he going to call? Will he be there tonight? Does he like me? Maybe I should be more available on the weekends.
So I don’t make plans and I wait…and wait. I waste away the afternoon hours glancing at my phone, oh, every five minutes. No new messages. I’m left with this deep pit in my stomach and I feel like a total loser.
Instead of continuing the fun and full life I had before, I over-analyze my every move and scare away all my suitors. Then I get mad at God and ask, “What the heck was that? Why did you put that guy in my life if it wasn’t going to work out? Are you a cruel God that just likes me to suffer?”
No, of course He isn’t. It just wasn’t the right time or the right guy.
A faulty pattern
Ladies, does this sound familiar? Perhaps that eligible bachelor was attracted to you because you were fun and busy and joyful. Then why stop just because he is paying attention to you? Continue those trips, those classes, those family dinners. Don’t stop everything you’re doing just to be available for that guy. You then lose the part of you that was so attractive in the first place.
It feels great when a new, exciting guy starts to pay attention to you. There’s nothing like it! But you may ask, “If I am so busy will he think I’m not interested?” Maybe, but don’t you want a guy to make an effort for you?
Think about it this way: While you wait for his call would you rather be out at a wine tasting and be pleasantly surprised by his voicemail or would you rather lie in your bed all afternoon and drive yourself crazy, hour after hour, getting angrier and angrier when he doesn’t call? (No, of course I haven’t done that).
Yes, we are all guilty of it.
You don’t need to sit around and wait for him. No, I’m not suggesting that you ask him out on a date (total traditionalist here), but I am encouraging you to stay busy and keep strong the relationships you have right now.
Now go call up your girlfriend and make dinner plans.
Right now, do it.
The Karate Queen
Meet Emily, a CatholicMatch member whose full, fun life includes karate, live concerts, horseback riding and novel writing. She’s dating a break from dating but still counting on Mr. Right.