CatholicMatch Pilots New Matching System

CatholicMatch's new matching system was devised by a respected Catholic psychologist

Editor’s note: CatholicMatch co-founder Mike Lloyd was a driving force behind the creation of a new matching system, which will be launched this spring. He recently fielded my questions about the process.


What was the motivation behind the new matching system?

Our current system of matching is based on the criteria that members input: height, age, location, acceptance of certain Church teachings and so on. It isn’t exactly a two-way street. It was the equivalent of going onto and saying I’d like a 2000 or 2001 split-level. “Find me your perfect match.”

The approach we’re shifting to is personality based – “OK, tell me about yourself” – and then hopefully finding a good house for them. Instead of “this woman matches your search” it will be “this woman looks like a good match.”

By making this claim, we’ll be introducing members in a more clear-cut, proactive way, giving them permission to get in touch.


And in order to come up with up with solid personality-based questions, you called on a respected Catholic psychologist?

We did. We hired Mark Friedrick, a family counselor who has a private practice in Pennsylvania and is a supervisor of the Behavior Health of a regional health system. Mark devised questions for our new matching system. Having seen a lot of failed relationships and troubled ones and being a devout Catholic, Mark is able to address the origin of common conflicts with great skill.

Mark identified crucial categories that couples do well to agree on, from interests to values and vision along with sexuality and communication. I think our whole staff learned a lot from reviewing these categories.

Members will answer questions about those categories based on a Likert scale: strongly agree, agree, disagree, strongly disagree.

The general structure of the system Mark devised is to factor in three premises: that there are crucial categories to any relationship; that similarities lend to compatibility; and that individualization leads to better matching.

That last one just means we aren’t making group assumptions or treating people as types – we’re handling this on a case by case basis. Each member will have his or her own match score.

We’re talking about a practical method that may reduce 100 people down to three. I think it’ll help to narrow the field. And it also gives those matches more visibility so it’s easier for them to find each other and make contact.  

The new matching system will help members who may be operating on too rigid of criteria and, in doing so, overlooking some great matches.


What do you hope this new matching system will achieve?

Better starts.

We all know how difficult or even awkward it can be to meet and chat with someone who for some reason just doesn’t align with you. We hope our new system gives members confidence to start a conversation with someone they were matched with, knowing there was a solid basis for that pairing. It may not lead to a relationship or a marriage, but there is definitely something there, a reason to look into it. If you’ve been matched, you’ve got a real foundation to build on.

And ultimately, Mark’s work is based on decades of experience, identifying the similarities in couples that present the best opportunity for lasting love. So once a romance is sparked, we hope it’ll have a better chance of enduring.


It’s interesting that matters of the heart can come down to math.

It is. But at CatholicMatch, unlike other sites, we embrace every tool we have been given: It’s not simply math or psychology but faith also plays a significant role. Our matching system factors all that in, drawing on the Catholic faith and sound psychology.

As a record number of singles in the U.S. emerge, it’s harder for people to find someone who has similar values and a similar outlook on life, so we’re filling a natural gap that’s been created.


Do you see this as the logical next step for CatholicMatch?

Yes. We’re already known for attracting a high-quality membership pool. Now we’ll also become known for taking that membership and pairing them through a high-quality matching system.


So what happens with the former matching system?

Members don’t have to worry: We’re not eliminating it. We’re going to maintain that as a valuable tool – and we’re even going to enhance it. But we’re going to merge it into our search tool and it will now be part of saved searches. Because that’s what it is: searches that provide results based on user-generated criteria, not third-party input. So we’re giving it a more accurate name and a better home.

I think members will be grateful to continue using this search tool while also enjoying the benefits of a smart matching system.


  1. Kate-756604 March 14, 2012

    This sounds much better! Thank you CM.

    • Anthony-941373 February 4, 2013

      I have no idea about you, but sound interesting.
      Up late due to a lot of volunteer work i do and watched
      the super bowl.

      Blessings, Anthony N.

  2. I agree

  3. Can’t wait to give it a try!

  4. I’m excited to see the new results!

  5. Tony-705734 March 15, 2012

    I am probably the “downer” opinion here, but please do not try to make it like eharmony’s system. Uhg, still getting shivers thinking of that.

    • UGH eharmony was a nightmare, Chemistry too.

    • Tony like anything there are good aspects and not so good aspects. No matter what another dating site might be doing we always try and do what we think is best for CatholicMatch. As the article stated we are trying to give our members more and better ways to meet their potential spouse. Even with our new matching system you will still be able to browse, search, find users in feeds, forums or any other feature CatholicMatch has.

  6. I hope it’s better, better than the story about it because above it’s posted “Instead of “this woman marches your search” it will be “this woman looks like a good match.” I’m thinking it was suppose to say “Instead of “this woman matches your search”

    • Well people make searches based on superficial characteristics very often and may miss out on individuals suited to them based on personality, values and interests that make them compatible to another person, so I understand the overall objective. This will help to narrow down the pool and avoid a lot of time wasted.
      Now I thought what you were looking for was something more like ” This woman is an ideal match” instead of “looks like” as that sounds less promising.
      If left to our own devices we may overlook important characteristics to seek in a match which in essence does not make a match.
      I wish the site would incorporate some of the tools that christian mingle does, i.e. Relationship Readiness quiz.

      • Liza-471353 August 24, 2012

        I’m not familiar with Christian Mingle….but I definitely agree with you on questions that will help determine Relationship Readiness! I’d like to sift through and rule out the “players”.

  7. Really looking forward to this! When will the program begin?

  8. Dawn-58330 March 18, 2012

    This sounds like a good direction for CatholicMatch to go. I’m going to be watching out for this new avenue to finding the right man. One of the things I really like about CatholicMatch is that it has many ways to find our match. There isn’t a single way to go about it. And I am glad to hear that it is involving our faith as well.

  9. Dear Catholic Match I have been looking but did not find anything, when does this new system begin, pl keep me posted, thanks

    l keep

  10. There is no harm in trying a different direction and making improvements to the site, so that better results and performance is achieved. There is no better vehicle to use, than new technology, which has created enomous savings in time and money over the centuries. Just imagine! Twenty years ago, it was impossible for me to place my profile on the internet, and just instantly get a reply from a woman, indicating if I would, or could be a suitable mate. If the sites database can interograted to produce better results.
    Thank the lord!

  11. Paul-302787 March 25, 2012

    Well, it sounds interesting. I’m willing to give it a try. No strong feelings one way or the other.

  12. Much better :)

    • HI
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      i would like you and me friend pen pal
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  13. I always like change,so fine with me.

  14. Mike-702837 April 18, 2012

    Like some of the others have said…….too much like eHarmony, which was a wholly unenjoyable experience.

  15. John-146319 April 18, 2012

    I think it should be optional, not a requirement. The questions are watered down versions of the temperament test. If a member has taken the time to take the temperament test, they shouldn’t have to take the match portrait.

  16. Jose-701932 April 18, 2012

    Muy bien

  17. Go with the flow

  18. I sounded like a good thing, but I am unable to take the test. LOL I have tried twice and keep getting a blank screen with “Done” on the status line below. PLEASE don’t be DONE with me. LOL

  19. John-731321 April 18, 2012

    Always something new, and not always better. Make the new stuff an option. I’m old, I don’t like changes. I am less apt to renew if I have to deal with something new every so often.

    How about requiring the folks to display a picture. What was that again…something about one picture is worth……..I’m old…I forgot the rest….


  20. how many questions are there? I only got to 55% of the way through and then the questions got a little too personal..

  21. I think the number of questions is too many. The first 15 or 20 will reveal everything you need to know about yourself or who you are looking for. I got about 20% done and gave up. I’ll have to come back to it later and try again and see if I can get through them all.

  22. Some of the questions are not relevant to all ages. For example, asking someone post-child bearing how many children they want to have seems silly. I also found that several of the questions had no selection that matched my desired response. That said, it is completed!

  23. Ana-712402 April 21, 2012

    I do not think the temperament test is a practical thing to do. The questions should be more realistic,and aplicable to all ages.

  24. Rese-837473 April 21, 2012

    Well looking forward to giving this a new way a try. However, I wish more users would be open to dating someone who lives overseas. I live in the caribbean I have travelled to the U.S. on occasions, am able to go there on a somewhat regular basis and with technology like skype, magic jack etc. I believe it can work out but most of the guys that I was matched with previously only want someone “within driving distance”. I know CM did not have control over them putting that information there (was the users choice) but I hope the new system will match me with people who are open minded to thinking maybe the right person for me may be in another country like I am…….who know’s God’s geographic boundaries on the location of the “right person” for me or someone else.

    Sorry I just needed to vent that…….been praying and trying so long to find a person right for me lol.

  25. Ok, I finally got through the questions. I think being in my 50′s the children questions were a little out of place unless of course I meet a younger woman who is capable of having children. On the other hand if I were 60 or 70, those questions about having children would be pointless. I think some questions might be more relevant for certain age groups and not for others. One question seem a little odd, regarding if I see something that disturbs me I get very upset and try to do something about it. I don’t think that is a good response to the question. For example, the Holy water at church was removed during our Lenten season. This was very disturbing to me and I did do something to correct it, but I did not get very upset over it. So, I get done with all these questions only to learn there are no matches because enough people haven’t answered them. Ugh…

  26. Great!! Looking forward!

  27. Jim-307377 April 26, 2012

    In the end I ask myself ‘Do I want to wake up to this face every morning?’. Most of us choose who to look at based on their photo.

    If I say I don’t follow the churche’s teachings on contraception and premarital sex, does that mean I would never be matched with those that say they do? Many are not telling the truth on that anyway. They say 90% of Catholics use contraception and probably have premarital sex like the overall average population.

    I agree with other’s comments that they don’t want to see an eHarmony approach where ‘you’ decide who I can look at.

  28. The fact that the new site has been compared to eHarmony is a bit disturbing. The latter, is almost an exclusive club, as they are very selective in who they accept as their members. What about if your computerized matching system does not find a suitable match for me anywhere. Does this mean that I am not a suitable to be on Catholic Match? My prayer is that Catholic Match stays open to all Catholics.

  29. Is this only for members in the USA?

  30. I’m still here, and I think, the process to be in CM should be simple and enjoyable for all “IQ”s.

  31. I think it should be simple and make it easy for two people to talk, certainly not like Eharmony.
    I think our society is already to judgemental. Why make it even harder? Catholic match should be easier,my goodness church dances are how my grandparents and their parents all met . Even my parents their was more human socializing then this cyber world we are in today.
    Take some leaps of faith both Women and men Please

  32. I am interested in meeting new people. I prefer a man who is also a Roman Catholic.

  33. The question about if marriage is forever…. is not correctly made. Marriage is forever (under the Church’s teachings). The Church never nullifyies no nothing; it declares that it was always null because it never existed.

    Under that understanding (which is what most ones would suppose you wanted to say) someone wanting to adhere to the Churchs’s teachings will be in trouble for wanting to answer both options. In any case, the expression ‘nuliffy’ is very dangerous because it leads many to understand that the Church really has the power to decide upon marriages (thus recongizing a way of divorce).

    Please, rephrase the sentence and make it possible to answer adequatly.

    Thanky you

  34. Personally, would rather do my own sifting. Some good traits so overwhelm the undesireable traits that I am willing to make exceptions. My perfect woman would have land and cattle adjoining my land and cattle. So I just eliminated everyone here by a strict definition. I see where your coming from, but you could miss a diamond by digging in the wrong spot. So I say Amen to Carmel’s comment.

  35. I prefer not to “log out”, but I feel it was a waste of time (both times I was a member) for me to “keep” trying, trying and trying, with no success….and I am not getting any younger. As far as this new way of helping your members….I agree with some. I’m FOR anything that would help us find a mate.

    Thanks for including my comment.

  36. I have been using Catholic Match for sometime. Ive been totally disappointed with the results. Since I am an older woman and recent widow, I desire to meet a man who can share my life as a friend. So far, I don’t know what the men that I have met desire of a female companion. You meet them once and then they comment that they are “too busy” to continue on after the first meeting. There’s got to be a fun-loving, warm, friendly man out there whom would enjoy sharing their daily life with me. I’m have a very outgoing personality, love to travel,attend theater, movies as well as spend quiet time with my family and friends. Anybody out there whom would enjoy sharing some quality, enjoyable time with me? I also can only be interested with men who live in the Eastbay area of California. Carolyn

  37. All the new changes are great, but are we open to interacial dating. I think that it should be added so that ones’s preference is included and clearly stated. It would be interesting to know before making a connection. We are a global community and this would enable another level of honesty and openess.

    • I totally agree. I think people should be able to state their preference. It has nothing to do with predjudical opionons.

  38. Some answers are right on target& some not so great,

  39. Great! Looking forward to this. I’m so excited! :)

  40. Happy to try !!! Why not !!! ;)

  41. Sounds as though everyone should be looking for good marriage mates. Whats wrong with interesting dating mates?

  42. I just finished answering the questions. I thought they were good and hit some important points. However, because I was not able to got back to reevaluate some questions, mine will not be accurate. Some were answered accidentally and once answered, that’s it– this is disappointing to me!

  43. In the section labeled ‘Tell Us About Yourself’, no room is allowed to ask the potential match some questions which would reveal some characteristics of the other’s personality. Some of the questions are much too personal. And-if I answered positively to contraception, does that mean there are no match ups for me?

  44. hello everyone,hope this site can help me find a longterm partner in life..what i want is love,respect,and honesty..nice to know you..keep in touch.

  45. Hi.

    I am looking for someone who is serious about starting a relationship which possibly will lead to marriage. I am looking for someone to love and enjoy life with.

  46. Yes …I am looking for someone who want to love and enjoy life with.
    Happy to try it.

  47. I have had quite a few men initiate contact without even checking my profile. They see the profile picture and stop there. I had to turn down a few requests for chats or face to face after reading their profiles and finding out that they are either: too young, too old or not a good fit.

    I also prefer seeing a photo first. I automatically skip any profile without a profile photo or at least a few scrapbook photos. I think new members should be encouraged to post a photo as part of their signing in to CM.

    I am looking forward to trying the new matching system. My only caveat was when I tried the beta, I found that some of the potential matches were men from different states. My profile states I prefer to stay in my location as I don’t believe in long distance relationships. So I am wondering how the profiles are being filtered for possible matches. Thanks.

  48. Myrna-889769 September 24, 2012

    I want someone not far from where I live.

  49. Raymond-908303 October 14, 2012

    is okay i like it when is good

  50. Tom-474970 November 2, 2012

    Hi it is nice to meet you, I hope we can become good friends

  51. Tom-921089 November 23, 2012

    looking for someone near oakmont pa

  52. Tom-921089 November 23, 2012

    oakmont pa is my home.

  53. Kassie-921554 November 25, 2012

    Looking for a ‘good guy’ in the Woodland Hills…San Fernando Valley area.

  54. Martha-922132 November 26, 2012

    I just signed on – I think. I don’t have an available picture just yet but I can understand the need for one. This is the first match-up spot that I’ve tried and maybe the last so I don’t know if a change in format will be better. I can connect with the comment about the profile question about how many children I think make a perfect family since I’m 68. I did pick 3-5 children though.(I had 4). If the right guy companion comes along, great! If not, well, that’s okay, too.

  55. Martha-922132 November 27, 2012

    Jim, #307377, makes a lot of sense to me.
    Baton Rouge, Louisiana

  56. Joe-520090 December 1, 2012

    This is a nice thing except I DO NOT appreciate this thing sending matches who are older then me. I AM NOT INTERESTED IN ANYONE OLDER THEN ME.

  57. Just want to meet a nice gentlemen to have as a friend first and then companion. Could lead to more down the road. Not interested in men out of state. Ques. about children for people of
    my age are a waste time. At this point in our lives anyone around my age has their familys already as I do.

  58. Bette-926790 December 16, 2012

    I would like to meet someone to spend time with. I am a widow and lonely and would like to participate in a relationship to share my time and activities.

  59. Bette-926790 December 16, 2012

    I am a widow and would like to spend time getting to know someone and be able to share activities and time with them.

  60. Dana-927151 December 17, 2012

    I hope this will be a good experience. Blessings.

  61. Paul-931237 January 1, 2013

    I am excited to be here and hope God shows me something good here!

  62. Paul-935829 January 14, 2013

    I am glad to be here, and I pray that Jesus Christ our Master will lead me aright, so that I may walk in His ways.

  63. Paul-935829 January 14, 2013

    is this an exiting cite, almost all the posts are old, 2012 post. WHY?

  64. Janie-937182 January 19, 2013

    Hoping this is a good website.

  65. Edda-627796 February 6, 2013

    Changes for the best, I always welcome them!
    Let see if I get less nerves, now.

  66. Trizah-946255 February 18, 2013

    a good idea!

  67. Daisy-946625 February 22, 2013

    It’s nice & I’m excited to have a new experience to participate of this kind of activities.

  68. I find the questions on the matching process repetitive and taking way to much time. I found that after siting here for almost an hour I still have about 40% more questions to answer. I don’t think they mean that much in starting a relationship. I will not take another 40 minutes to participate on this dating website. Thank you.

  69. Found the questions ok but sometimes couldn’t correct my answers. It was frustrating and a bit too time consuming but am excited to join. Glad for the whole idea of meeting guys who are Catholic and thus eliminating one hurdle. God is good & good idea! Thanks.

  70. I am excited to join this site!

  71. Yes I looking my love partner friend que tenga un gran corazon y que quiera compartir Su vida con migo y formar un hogar

  72. i know you gather all this info in order to match people but it is a lot of questions and why do people have to pay so much

  73. On this sight before, going to try it again

  74. good luck to all of us guys.

  75. I think this is great

  76. Nick-956011 March 24, 2013

    This all sounds great, I have not posted a picture yet but soon will.

  77. Nick-956011 March 24, 2013

    I hope this site helps me find someone I can share my life with.

  78. Sounds great..

  79. Russ-965317 April 21, 2013

    No commnet at the moment.

  80. this is becoming a laborious effort to sign in

  81. no comment

  82. Sally-1019940 October 18, 2013

    Because my first venture in began just a few days ago, this info was interesting although I cannot make any judgments, of course, due to my lack of long term experience.

    I am taking the positive approach thinking there is a match somewhere here that will find me and I acknowledge him, as already a handful of attractive gentlemen have begun
    welcome conversations.

  83. Elodia-982734 January 30, 2014

    Sounds like this “new system” has already started. Would like to try it since I have not had any luck with the present system, I am almost always getting matches from out of state and/or not within the age group requested.

  84. Happy Easter to all ! Not sure how the “new” system is any better than the “old” system. Ditto Elodia’s comment from January, 2014.

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