45% Of CatholicMatch Members Envision Their Wedding


Do you dream of your wedding? Should you? Single women in their 20s do.

It’s going to be a bright fall day with the leaves slowly turning to shades of amber and rust. Five of my closest female friends will stand beside me in elegant cranberry gowns holding rich bouquets of calla lilies and roses. My sweeping gown adorned with intricate beading will twinkle as I walk down the aisle on the arm of my father, ready in both mind and spirit to say “I do” to my groom.

I’ve replayed this plotline in my head countless times, ever since the days of “Pretty Pretty Princess” games and dress-up. Even before my very own Mr. Right entered my life when I joined CatholicMatch, the details of my wedding day always unfolded clearly in my mind. For many members of CatholicMatch, thoughts of a future wedding are still top of mind, even when a future spouse has yet to step on to the scene.

A recent CatholicMatch poll shows that more than 45 percent of members envision their wedding day. Thirty eight percent say they have a few ideas in mind, while 7 percent say they have a detailed plan in mind. On the other end of the spectrum, 30 percent of the 1,463 respondents responded with, “No way! Who would plan a wedding without a spouse in mind?”

These results show a broad spectrum of thoughts on wedding planning during dating years, but even more telling are the demographics behind the results. Nearly 45 percent of those who said they had a few ideas in mind for their future wedding day were women, and more than half are in the 18- to 25-year-old age range.

It’s the younger women who are most likely to have detailed wedding visions, and as a not-yet engaged woman who fits in that age bracket, I have to say, I’m not surprised. Women, in general, are more likely to aspire for the white ball gown, the beautiful flowers and the striking venue — and to make that happen, months or even years of planning have to occur. I would guess that the majority of men would rather skip a lengthy and perhaps stressful engagement and opt for a simple ceremony and reception a few months down the road to avoid those decisions.

And it’s in our early 20s that females assume that our years of dreaming, hoping and planning will finally come into play. With college degrees, first jobs and goals for the future, we subconsciously plan for an engagement and wedding. But life doesn’t always go as planned, which may explain why many older members do not envision their future wedding day.

“I’m not sure what I’m looking for,” Monica-429294 commented on the poll. “At one time I had planned out what my wedding would be, but now life happened, two husbands happened and having cancer two times happened, so I don’t know now.”

For other members, the frustrations of many years of dating threaten the hope for marriage.

“I can’t even find women to talk to, so why bother dreaming about a wedding day that most likely will never happen?” commented Derick-484028.

I, too, have wrestled with the notion that perhaps my dream wedding will never become a reality, but my experience on CatholicMatch changed my life completely. I now trust that my call to marriage will one day come to fruition. I may be a part of that female demographic who is dutifully outlining a plan for a perfect wedding day, but I know that the true preparation I need is not related to a timeline, a vendor or a budget. Single, dating or engaged, we need to prepare for a holy marriage, and that goes beyond any wedding day vision.

CatholicMatchers, do you envision your wedding day? Do you think it’s impractical or imprudent to think about your wedding as a single person?






9 Comments

  1. I did for a very long time, even after I met my current fellow. It took my father’s death to slap me back into reality. Sure I am now denied the opportunity to have dad walk me down the aisle and there will be no father-daughter dance, but it is far deeper than that.It forced me to begin to look real long and hard at my life and my relationship. I learned to slow down and see and accept who he is as a person. I also am forced to accept the fact that my mother is not having an easy time of living on her own for the first time in almost 50 years. I no longer dream of my wedding in a delusional fashion. If it happens, it happens and when that day comes I will have learned to plan wisely and sensibly.

  2. There are a few things that I’d like to have, like a traditional ceremony. Some of the details I have also planned but not to the “T”. I get ideas from other women. One of the great things about not being among the first to get married is that I’d see some of the mishaps that have happened at other people’s weddings because of a lack of communication and I’d make a note to myself to make sure I’d double check the details with everyone involved. Or I’d see something pretty and think, “I’d like to do that for my reception.”

  3. I will also be careful not to go over budget, and find ways to “cut corners” because in the long run it’s about who I’d marry and the fact that I’d marry in the Catholic Church.

  4. I am waiting for a mircle to get to I do!!! I love lighthouse, how about a reception at the foot of a lighthouse……..

  5. Being in the age “bracket” that focuses most on this topic I can honestly say I relate to it. With many of my friends marrying I have envisioned what a “dream wedding” would include. I must say though, that when I talk with my girlfriends about the hope-to-happen day I always say, in the end, the flowers, food, and decorations are only extras. The only thing that really matters is the person waiting for me at the end of the aisle. And really, it’s the two, the groom and Jesus. By focusing the day, ceremony, and emotions on those two, a wedding day will be magnificent. I can’t say I don’t want the beautiful dress and I will be honest in saying if my father is unable to walk me down the aisle it will crush me, but in the end, the point of the whole ceremony is to be united with another through Christ. That is what the day is really about.

  6. The only for sure thing I know is that I will be married in my Catholic Church, and be modestly dressed with a mantilla veil :)

  7. I think it is imprudent to dream about my wedding day as a single person as I have a terrible reality staring at me. What has happened to me has left my world in ruins but I am hoping that I will get what I want from this situation.

  8. I think you might have accidentally repeated your statistic of overall respondents when you said “45% of those who had a few ideas in mind… were women.” That would entail 55% of those claiming future wedding plans being male. If that is the case, it is surprising and worth an article in itself. Otherwise, you should probably fix that typo.

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