Nothing To Do But Wait For Your Future Spouse? Try This…


Waiting
When I was younger and single, I used to go to daily Mass. I loved this gift of the single life and being able to receive the Eucharist every day. Many of my friends, single and married, were doing the same. One day, one of my friends who was married asked if I was involved with anyone on a serious level and I wistfully shook my head no.
 
“Don’t worry,” she told me. “It will happen but one of you isn’t ready, yet. You should be praying for him because he’s probably praying for you.”
 
 
Wow, don’t you love those little pearls of wisdom that just fall into your lap? 
 
 
Especially after experiencing a divorce and witnessing all the things that can go wrong in a marriage, I wanted to put every precaution into place so it didn’t happen to me again. I took my friend’s words to heart and began praying for my future spouse right away and when the time was right in God’s eyes, I met my future husband and he was even more than I had asked for.
 
There are so many things in life you cannot control and the timing of meeting your spouse-to-be is certainly one of those things. For single people, this is the chief complaint; When will the love of my life show up? Wanting, waiting, hoping, searching is your daily bane. It’s always a good thing to keep working toward your goals, but it’s all in God’s perfect timing, so in the meantime, you can work on the one thing in life you can control, yourself.
 
As a CatholicMatch member, you are likely highly prepared to meet your future spouse so if you have all your ducks in a row, why not incorporate some daily prayer time for your future spouse?
 
My parents prayed for all their children and their future spouses and I have followed in their footsteps now that I have three children of my own. Being able to witness the beauty and innocence of childhood makes me want to double my efforts because I want to see my kids marry (if that is their vocation) and live happy lives. Knowing that marriage is difficult, I would like to help prepare them in every way I know how.
 
One great way to do this is by praying a novena and if you are interested, I’d like to recommend one in particular that you can pray with many faithful Catholics around the world. It begins on Thursday, August 30th and is a novena to the Blessed Mother called the Novena for Marriage and Family.
 
No matter what type of prayer you offer for your future wife or future husband, make sure that in addition to praying for the right time to meet her or him, that you also pray for their growth in virtue and love for God; for their integrity, honesty, and leadership. 
 
It’s so important to have God be a part of every aspect of your relationship; dating, engagement and marriage. By praying for your future spouse, you now have a way to include God even in your preparation to meet.
 





11 Comments

  1. Lisa, this advice is so obvious, but I have never heard it before today. No priest, no nun, no deacon, no one. It’s kind of like – how does one offer up the suffering and pain one experiences – never been instructed HOW, told to but never HOW. Some times it is so depressing to think that one’s life has been so miserable because a simple word of explanation or instruction was never received and distressing that God allowed that to happen. I am certainly happy it worked for you and thanks for sharing, hopefully it isn’t too late.

  2. Ditto. This is great. Thanks Lisa.

  3. Someone gave me this advice ages ago. It makes a lot of sense and it is already part of my prayer life but it makes sense to pray that we will be ready for the right person when they come along too. Having been through a divorce, I pray that I will be able to put the experiences (both good and bad) of past relationships to good use so that I will be ready and in the right place spiritually for him :)

  4. Yes, it is at times hard to be single, but it`s worth it, because in the end, you can go out with just anyone to say you have a boyfriend/girlfriend or someone to date, but in the end, you must have standards.

    If you don`t, you`re going to be getting into constant arguments, and a person that has bad habits or addictions can possibly drag you down with them, if you let them. You have to date someone on the same page as you, as far morals, religion, and values. You can`t think to yourself that you need to change your whole life for someone, or you should have to be the one to change someone else.

    In those very rare cases, it works out, but usually it doesn`t. I think it`s really important to find a balance with your life and develop your own independence.

    Your entire life should not be about finding someone. Focus on finding some friends, fun activities to do, or maybe even volunteer, etc. I think we have to trust God, and know that his timing is not always our timing.

    Past bad experiences with dating or even a bad marriage, can really clue you in to how people work and make you so much smarter and stronger. Even though it was painful, lessons can always be learned and these things happen for a reason. The prayer is definitely a good idea.

  5. Erin-106817 August 28, 2012

    Just a comment to say thanks for this and for all your posts—I always find your wisdom, compassion, and encouragements deeply calming. So glad CM has you writing here!

  6. Thank you Lisa!!!

  7. Great ideas Lisa- Thanks! I must be patient and pray more on this..
    You know, I pray for family and friends- especially my daughter and her new marraige and family- lot’s of power there.. now she is praying more to strenghthen their love- it’s ‘catchy’.. a good thing!
    I must remember, however, to pray for myself and my future love- knowing it’ll happen in
    HIS time.. when he knows that ‘I and we’ are ready. I did mention ‘patience’ right?! :)

  8. May-414643 September 2, 2012

    Thanks Lisa for the article :)

  9. Frances-891285 September 3, 2012

    I have started the Novena for family and marriage, I am widowed and find it very hard to not have a man in my life, my five kids are on their own, and now I am alone, and having been his caregiver for 15 years, I for the first time in my life, have only myself to be concerned about, so pray the Lord will find me worthy to enter into another relationship, to fullfill the rest of my life. I am praying that I will be blessed with someone to share my life. I went through two bad contacts, and do not want to do that again, so say a prayer for me that I use my wisdom this time, and find the right one for me.

  10. Thanks for the example of a great novena for this! I’m not sure where I first heard that we should pray for our future spouses, but it’s something I’ve done since I was a pre-teen and something my mother and grandma always pray about too for all of the kids in my family. If you’re able to ask for family support in the prayer do it. :)

    Another thing that I heard from a few people, including Jason and Christina Evert (famous Catholic speakers on chastity), is to write letters to your future spouse. They suggest writing letters to your future spouse, collecting them and then giving them to them on your wedding night. I’ve written a few and lost a few, but it sounded like a sweet and romantic thing to do. I can’t guarantee that some guy will ever read and enjoy them, but at the very least writing them has been helpful to me. Hopefully it’ll be helpful to you, too.

  11. Awesome! Thank you for sharing :) I’ve been already praying for my future husband for some time now but I cannot wait for 30th of August to start this Novena! God bless :)

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