You Can’t Heal If You’re A Victim


During those terrible months and years after my divorce, I played the blame game. Blaming others is a typical, knee-jerk, reaction to deep hurt, and it is a slippery slope that can quickly become an attitude that causes much worse problems in life. The blame game transformed me into a victim. I was actually avoiding the truth about my situation. It wasn’t until I stopped blaming others for my situation that I was able to put my feet on the path toward healing and the first thing I had to do was accept. 

I had to accept that my marriage was gone. I was clinging to something that was dead, and I needed to let it go of it, as painful as it was. I had to accept that I could not control my ex-husband. All those things he was doing to hurt me… I couldn’t change that. I also had to accept that I, too, carried some of the blame for the divorce and that was hard.

These were difficult steps to take, but once I took them, I began to make progress. This important exercise in acceptance of the truth in my life made it easier to pray, easier to attend mass, easier to embrace God because although I still didn’t understand why it all happened, I had stopped blaming God and instead turned to Him for strength. 

Are you tangled up in the blame game? If so, take some time to reflect on your circumstances and ask God to enlighten your thoughts and help you accept the truth of your situation.





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