Was Bachelor Contestant Sent Home for Having Morals?


Selma

Okay, I admit it. I watch The Bachelor (and by watch I mean mock). In my defense though, my husband and I (yes, he watches it too) usually switch back and forth between The Bachelor and a basketball game. We’ve said it several times, it’s like a car accident. We can’t not look.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with this show, the series revolves around a single bachelor (deemed eligible) and a pool of romantic interests (typically 25), which could include a potential wife for the bachelor. These girls compete for the “bachelor’s” affection in the hopes of getting a proposal at the end.

In all the years we’ve been watching it, we’ve noticed that in order to win, for lack of a better word, you have to do a couple things:

1. Invest yourself emotionally in this person extremely quickly and tell them you like/love/adore/ or feel such a strong connection to him.

2. Be willing to make out or even spend the night with the bachelor.

If you don’t do either of these two things you are eventually eliminated because you don’t seem “that into him” or you’re “holding back” etc.

Did I mention the entire show takes place in six weeks? Seems pretty ridiculous doesn’t it?

Normally I’m not overly impressed by any of the women on the show, but this season, one of the contestants stood out. Selma Alameri is from a traditional Muslim family. Before she came on the show, her family gave her some sound advice: “My family didn’t say, ‘Don’t show emotion and don’t fall in love.’ They simply said, ‘Don’t make out with somebody on television.’ I don’t need to make out with a man to know whether I like him.” 

Seems like good advice to me.

I was happy to hear that at least one of the girls on the show had some sense. I was even more happy to hear that the Bachelor, Sean Lowe, respected Selma’s wishes: “The no-kissing thing made our relationship more exciting because I had something to look forward to, plus, Selma’s heart and personality were more than enough.” 

Well, if you watched a few weeks ago, you’ll know that Selma compromised on her principles and ended up kissing Sean. Even if she thought kissing him would help her chances of winning, Sean still ended up sending her home. I guess her heart and personality weren’t enough after all.

The lesson to be learned here folks? Don’t compromise; it’s not worth it. Why invest yourself emotionally and even make out with someone you don’t know that well, only to be left heart broken?

Attention is nice, and the person showing you the attention is probably very nice, but just because you’re lonely doesn’t mean you should stay with him or her.

It’s okay and actually quite logical to have standards and stick to them. Having the same value system and faith foundation is a great place to start. But also realize that you will never find a person that fits the exact criteria of your “dream man/woman.” There is a difference between having moral convictions and bending on preferences. 

Before I met my husband, I had my list of qualities that my dream man would have. Did my husband live up to my expectations?

Practicing Catholic: check! Smart: check! Funny: check! Tall, dark and handsome: almost … (I never thought I’d marry a ginger. No offense, dear.)

But as long as you know the things that are truly important, you can let the others slide. Know what your deal breakers are and don’t waste your time with a person who is not “marriage material.” When you compromise the important qualities that you are looking for in a spouse, it brings you further from the match that God has for you.






21 Comments

  1. Jennifer-939674 February 22, 2013 Reply

    I admit I also watch this show… it is a train wreck… and it’s sad that our society does rush something as wonderful as love… And I do think as admirable as Sean makes himself out to be, he did send this lady home since she was not as “fast” as the others. I was sorry to see her cave and kiss him. I know from personal experience, that caving on your values is not worth it… stick to your values!!

  2. Will-836097 February 22, 2013 Reply

    Call me cynical, but what is a traditional Muslim woman doing on a show like this in the first place? I don’t mean to sound overly judgmental, but I just have a hard time believing whatever I see on a “reality” show.

  3. Ewa-937307 February 22, 2013 Reply

    haha…I watched with my mom. I don’t typically watch reality shows and neither does my mom, but since MY MOM was watching, I thought it would okay for me. Did you know that this bachelor was a contestant in another show and the bachelorette eventually asked him to leave?!?! I didn’t either, my mom told me lol…I totally agree with the emotional investment. It seems very unfair and very far from what real love is that the girls need to “prove” their side. Isn’t love a two-way street? I mean what if some of the girls needed to do their evaluation of the bachelor? It seems degrading, bu then again you are choosing to be in such a situation. Nevertheless, it is entertaining, builds suspense…especially this one. I was more interested whether the guy would fall for the one who played the victim and couldn’t get along with the other girls. I think it was a smart move for him to ask his sister;s advice.

  4. Diana-944717 February 22, 2013 Reply

    In reference to morals/values of today’s society, I sometimes wish I could “loosen up” just a little. I’ve been in the dating circle off and on for a while and find it very difficult to find a man who respects/appreciates the “old fashioned values and morals”. Went out with a guy a couple of times and he got angry with me one time because I didn’t want to “slide into the next base” with him….his statement to me was:” Well it’s not like you’re a d_ _ _ _ virgin anymore!” My response to him was “Just because I’m not a virgin anymore, doesn’t mean I become a whore!”. Oh, this was after I had been married/divorced w’/4 children. So,, after bing devorced for over 30 years, I’m still single and looking for that special someone to grow old(er) with. LOL! Someone who isn’t interested in rushing into bed.

    • Diana-944717 February 22, 2013 Reply

      Oh yeah, BTW needless to say we didn’t see eachother after that! No loss on my side – HIS LOSS!

      • Kate M. February 22, 2013 Reply

        Hold out. I have had that happen more times than I care to recall. I remember being so nervous to tell someone that I was holding out until marriage and have to give myself a pep talk every time. If he rejects you because of it, he isn’t who you are supposed to be with.

  5. Candace-587406 February 22, 2013 Reply

    I will confess, I have a big crush on Bachelor Sean, and I watch the show every Monday. Supposely, Sean is waiting until marriage to be sexually active, but I don’t think he is a virgin. I think he is a sweet guy, and I don’t feel Selma was sent home because she delayed a kiss. Sean just had a stronger connection with some of the other ladies. However, it seems like kissing is nothing special when you see the bachelor making out with most of the girls.

    • Laura-56149 February 24, 2013 Reply

      I agree. Sean is the only bachelor that I can remember that actually talks about waiting until marriage. It is even a big news bulletin in the tabloids. The thing I think is sad is the fact he is looked at as being an anomoly and butt of jokes because he says he is a born again virgin. I even heard Chris Harrison on a talk show making a joke about it. Morality is so lost in this society. I think it is refreshing that someone will put themselves on the chopping block publicly for their beliefs. The thing I don’t like about the show is the fact he expects these woman to pronounce their love for him so he can pick which one is most qualified. I think it is cruel. He said if one of the girls (I can’t remember her name) had told him she loved him, he might not have sent her home…ick…

  6. Carol-545286 February 23, 2013 Reply

    It seems that a lot of the men only want to get you between the sheets and if you don’t that ends the relationship.

  7. Lesley-158563 February 24, 2013 Reply

    This all sounds about as appealing as mud wrestling.

  8. Jim-53179 February 24, 2013 Reply

    What do you think God thinks of this show? I think it is disgusting, filth and is what satan wants
    people to get used to. His ways are so subtle, so you accept filth as the norm. Like I have heard many people say,”There are worse thing I could be watching.” So there is filth, filthier and filiest. So you choose filth because thats all there is on and you want to watch something. As time goes by, you actually start liking it and defending it. That filth slowly turns into filthier and eventually filthiest. And you go right along with it. Don’t open the door to satan. You know Jesus would never watch such trash.

  9. Sue-906387 February 24, 2013 Reply

    Ditto to Jim. Well-said! :)

  10. Genevieve-839012 February 25, 2013 Reply

    I think there are more charitable ways to say that a show is not morally sound…..

    • Candace-587406 February 25, 2013 Reply

      I agree with your comment Genevieve. If there was a like button I would click on it. :)

    • Thomas-699657 March 20, 2013 Reply

      Was Jesus more charitable when He said get behind me satin to Peter. Some times being less charitable is good, if it makes someone think about, what they are being a part, of is not in the best interest of there soul. Bad things happen while people stand by and do nothing but watch. That show is and abomination. They make premarital sex a good thing and it’s a mortal sin.

  11. Lucy-939626 February 25, 2013 Reply

    We all know reality shows, especially something like ‘The Bachelor’, aren’t real at all. They are scripted and well rehearsed for the most part. But for a woman (or man ) of high moral values, getting on such a show would not be very appealing in the first place, there are better, real ways of finding love than professing affection and making out with a total stranger on TV.

  12. Andy-516957 March 19, 2013 Reply

    It is law in most Muslim nations, and in Islam in general: a Muslim woman cannot be married to a non-Muslim man. This would be a serious breech, possibly resulting in death.
    There would be no winning for Selma.

  13. Lea-931733 April 12, 2013 Reply

    God can only judge.

  14. Paul-858743 November 13, 2014 Reply

    Basketball, ‘uh?

  15. Shannon-1126871 November 26, 2014 Reply

    I agree with Jim as well. As Christians we are called to live in the World but not of the World!! Well said Jim!!!

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