Okay, I admit it. I watch The Bachelor (and by watch I mean mock). In my defense though, my husband and I (yes, he watches it too) usually switch back and forth between The Bachelor and a basketball game. We’ve said it several times, it’s like a car accident. We can’t not look.
For those of you who are unfamiliar with this show, the series revolves around a single bachelor (deemed eligible) and a pool of romantic interests (typically 25), which could include a potential wife for the bachelor. These girls compete for the “bachelor’s” affection in the hopes of getting a proposal at the end.
In all the years we’ve been watching it, we’ve noticed that in order to win, for lack of a better word, you have to do a couple things:
1. Invest yourself emotionally in this person extremely quickly and tell them you like/love/adore/ or feel such a strong connection to him.
2. Be willing to make out or even spend the night with the bachelor.
If you don’t do either of these two things you are eventually eliminated because you don’t seem “that into him” or you’re “holding back” etc.
Did I mention the entire show takes place in six weeks? Seems pretty ridiculous doesn’t it?
Normally I’m not overly impressed by any of the women on the show, but this season, one of the contestants stood out. Selma Alameri is from a traditional Muslim family. Before she came on the show, her family gave her some sound advice: “My family didn’t say, ‘Don’t show emotion and don’t fall in love.’ They simply said, ‘Don’t make out with somebody on television.’ I don’t need to make out with a man to know whether I like him.”
Seems like good advice to me.
I was happy to hear that at least one of the girls on the show had some sense. I was even more happy to hear that the Bachelor, Sean Lowe, respected Selma’s wishes: “The no-kissing thing made our relationship more exciting because I had something to look forward to, plus, Selma’s heart and personality were more than enough.”
Well, if you watched a few weeks ago, you’ll know that Selma compromised on her principles and ended up kissing Sean. Even if she thought kissing him would help her chances of winning, Sean still ended up sending her home. I guess her heart and personality weren’t enough after all.
The lesson to be learned here folks? Don’t compromise; it’s not worth it. Why invest yourself emotionally and even make out with someone you don’t know that well, only to be left heart broken?
Attention is nice, and the person showing you the attention is probably very nice, but just because you’re lonely doesn’t mean you should stay with him or her.
It’s okay and actually quite logical to have standards and stick to them. Having the same value system and faith foundation is a great place to start. But also realize that you will never find a person that fits the exact criteria of your “dream man/woman.” There is a difference between having moral convictions and bending on preferences.
Before I met my husband, I had my list of qualities that my dream man would have. Did my husband live up to my expectations?
Practicing Catholic: check! Smart: check! Funny: check! Tall, dark and handsome: almost … (I never thought I’d marry a ginger. No offense, dear.)
But as long as you know the things that are truly important, you can let the others slide. Know what your deal breakers are and don’t waste your time with a person who is not “marriage material.” When you compromise the important qualities that you are looking for in a spouse, it brings you further from the match that God has for you.