Late one afternoon a few months ago, my husband walked in the house from outside and said, “Okay, where’s the nearest hospital?” My son had broken his right arm so badly, it was shaped like the letter “S.” No exaggeration.
Fast forward two months and it’s now summertime. School’s out and everyone’s headed to the pool, the beach, and the waterpark … except for my son, who has to wait until his cast comes off before he can enjoy these things. So my job at the moment is to keep him focused on the things he can do, not on what he can’t do. It’s a lesson that we can all learn from no matter what our state in life, but I think you might find it especially helpful, as a single person.
Every state in life has it’s hardships, no question. But living the single life might make it seem harder to endure difficulties because you are alone in your struggle. You don’t have a spouse to lean on and look to for comfort. This is precisely the time where, instead of focusing on what you can’t do because you are not in a relationship, you can focus on what you can do. You can grab the bull by the horns and create opportunities to meet that special person, precisely because of your status as a single person.
What are the things you can do? Well, I think one of the best opportunities you can take advantage of because you’re single is traveling. That opportunity is reduced considerably when you get married. It doesn’t matter whether you are going to Rome on a pilgrimage, or just trying to get out the door to the market. Everything changes when you have to be concerned with more people than just yourself. So explore this great freedom you have at this time in your life. And then, consider this…
A common complaint among single Catholics is that there aren’t any quality single Catholics out there for them to meet. I’ve been there, I understand how you feel. But it’s not true. It could be that you are looking in the wrong places for someone, or it could be that you’ve simply given up on looking? Maybe? Please, don’t get discouraged. I believe part of what’s happening is that meeting someone isn’t in God’s perfect timing yet. But is it possible that you haven’t broadened your horizons?
Here are a few suggestions I have for you to help you be successful in finding someone you can love for the rest of your life:
Now, I’m not really talking about long-distance relationships, here. I’m talking about traveling to events where your odds of meeting the right one for you increase. There are tons of Catholic events going on around the country – and in other countries if you have the means – where you can be in the presence of other Catholic singles who are most likely looking to meet someone like you. Some great places to look online and find out what’s going on are:
- CatholicMatch.com’s events listing
- CatholicEvents.com, listing national events for Catholics of all ages, hosted by popular author and speaker, Patrick Madrid
- Catholic PRWire and Events Calendar, listing national events for all interests
- DynamicCatholic.com, promoting outstanding events held by author and speaker, Matthew Kelly
2. Use your membership on CatholicMatch with enthusiasm.
- Be proactive in searching for someone fitting the description of your tastes and send a note or emotigram.
- Try to respond as quickly as possible to the emails and emotigrams you receive.
- Create parameters you are comfortable with. Decide for yourself how long you will wait for a response and don’t wait around or get bent out of shape if you don’t receive one within that time frame. Just keep moving on. Also, you have your list of non-negotiables … good. Now what are the negotiables?
Who knows where you will meet the dream date that will become the love of your life? If you’re tired of the way things are now then stop living the definition of insanity … doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Take a leap of faith and try something a little out of the ordinary. There’s a lonely single Catholic out there looking for you.
As always, you can contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org with your comments and questions.