Everything Felt Right When Erik Was With Allison


Catholic singles

Erik and Allison were both looking for a spouse who shared their Catholic faith. Each was running into obstacles along the way, but they were of a different variety.

“I started online dating about the same time I came back to the Catholic Church,” said Erik, who is a “re-vert” to the faith. “The selection of Catholic prospects was slim. I was looking for a needle in a haystack.” He had come familiar with CatholicMatch through advertising on other sites and decided to become a member.

Allison had been through the pain of divorce and annulment, and had gone through a healing process. “Work was my coping mechanism of choice to deal with the pain,” she recalled.” All of the energy that I had longed to put into a marriage and a family had been poured into a fast paced, demanding professional career.”

It was after Allison began to regain her work/life balance that she looked at dating again, but even here there was no rush to get back in the game, so to speak. “I was pretty comfortable in my post-annulment single lifestyle,” she said. “Also, the online dating process was hard because I felt exposed and vulnerable having my personal profile on a website for all male members to see.”

What eventually spurred Allison to take the chance and try online dating was her belief that she was indeed called to the vocation of marriage, and she had to stay true to that call.

Allison would appear as one of the matches that CatholicMatch emailed to Erik, and he looked at her profile. It didn’t take long for him to be impressed.

“I found stunning pictures with an intriguing profile,” he said. “She was a high-octane Catholic woman and seemed very down to earth.” Erik decided he would follow up the next day, but Allison was even quicker. When she saw he had viewed her profile, she return clicked, was no less impressed, and sent him a message.

Erik and Allison connected immediately and wasted no time in taking things offline. “My online search had been going on for about five years,” he told CatholicMatch. “I had learned the value of talking on the phone as soon as possible.”

When they met in person, the connection they felt only grew and the conversation flowed freely. They would both look back and note how comfortable they were in each other’s presence.

“I never felt as if we were two people just talking to hear ourselves talk,” Erik said. “I never felt like we were circling each other like two weary fighters, waiting for an opening…I can’t tell you how many first dates I’ve had that seemed like they were contests. Things were different with her from the get-go.”

Erik & Allison each noticed how easy and comforting it was to be in the other's presence.

Erik & Allison each noticed how easy and comforting it was to be in the other’s presence.

For her part, Allison was struck by Erik’s lack of pretense. “When I was alone after speaking with Erik, I never went through the silly parsing exercises that I used to experience in other relationships—wondering what he really meant or was thinking. I always knew.”

The sense of being accepted and at ease when they were together permeated both of them and built on the already-firm foundation of faith their new relationship had. “I love that Erik is a revert to the faith after a long discernment journey,” Allison told CatholicMatch. “He’s here to stay.” She added that she further enjoys Erik’s diverse conversational skill, able to flow freely from a serious topic to a goofy joke, giving them a healthy balance.

The complete comfort they felt in each other’s presence led to the conviction that they were meant for each other. Erik told a co-worker shortly after their first date that “I’ve just met the woman I’m going to marry.”

Allison’s understanding of Erik was a missing piece in his puzzle. “My biggest struggle before finding Allison was finding someone who ‘got’ me,” he said. “Allison always seemed to radiate acceptance. I could be ridiculous or vulnerable, but I never felt small in front of her.”

Their relationship moved to the next level quickly. “To my surprise, the love I found in my heart for Erik was something I had never experienced before,” Allison told CatholicMatch. “His presence also confronted me in a deep way…to recognize my own blind spots and to see my backward priorities.” Allison would eventually decide to choose a different career path, one she felt would be more in accord with the priorities she wanted to live her life by.

Erik's spontaneous proposal happened before he had a ring, but that's an omission long rectified.

Erik’s spontaneous proposal happened before he had a ring, but that’s an omission long rectified.

Erik and Allison were talking about their future together one day in her kitchen. They live an hour’s drive from each other, and the conversation shifted to what his commute to work would be like when he was married to her.”

“I remarked to Allison that I had not even officially proposed and here I was making plans about what to do once we were married,” Erik recalled. “She looked at me as if to say: ‘Well’?”

“Erik, overcome with the realization, dropped to his knee, train schedule in hand, and asked if I would make him the happiest man alive by living the rest of my life with him,” Allison said. He didn’t have a ring, but he wasn’t letting this special woman get away.

Erik and Allison were married last September 29, on the Feast of the Archangels. Allison recalled writing her original CatholicMatch profile, where she had become content with her life, but now wanted to add a husband. The right man smoothly fit into her life at just the right time.

“I could make a list of qualities (about Allison), but you could find them in different measures in a number of people,” Erik said. “This was different…I never wanted it to end, and yet I never felt as if it was slipping through my fingers. I knew she would be there always.”

Erik & Allison were married last September 29, on the Feast of the Archangels.

Erik & Allison were married last September 29, on the Feast of the Archangels.






7 Comments

  1. Grace-1013439 October 3, 2013 Reply

    Well done, and wish you the best for the future. I wish I can get a profession man, a real gentlemean, who would like to meet a sincerely lady.

  2. Esther-532964 October 4, 2013 Reply

    Great!! I love their story- and “they lived happily ever after.” That is my kind of story! I am so happy for the both of you! Many Blessings!

  3. Jeremiah-872559 October 10, 2013 Reply

    A nice story to read, I liked how they had the sense that it was meant to be, sort of the same sense one gets when one is close to God.

  4. Andrew-1040810 June 3, 2014 Reply

    Incredible story with a more than credible ending!!! Thanks Dan….this one’s a masterpiece!!

  5. Anne-911324 October 18, 2014 Reply

    Great story!! Congratulations.

  6. Hugh-1148390 November 24, 2014 Reply

    I had dated for 5+ years, never felt or heard a quiet voice say this might be the one. Not that i had furtively glanced around when alone to see if someone would speak from the ceiling. Then one day, or evening, yea it was evening. I heard some girls talking in the adjoining room of a shared bachelor apartment in Arkansas. Two girls were looking at a map of the USA and one was pointing to Western Michigan, saying she came from there. Being born in Grand Rapids, I took a closer look at the map and her. Something snapped, I was not the brightest light bulb at that moment. But I took a note, left the conversation because she had a date waiting somewhere possibly nearby. I left the area to attend school in Amarillo, Texas. When I returned three months later I attempted to find out who my mystery girl was and was she date-able? My initial answers were disappointing, some told me she was not around anymore…but she was, I persisted and somehow got her contact phone number. I called and her voice was simply southern, captivating me again. I made a date somewhere in the process and we tangled somewhere between infatuation and concern she was dating some wrong people, in my opinion. She was a student nurse in the capital city, Little Rock, AR. MY next AF assignment was to Libya, but changed midstream to North Dakota.
    I went though my best attempt at goodbye, “nice knowing you”. But my emotional attachments, not in conscious memory remained with her. I got a notice to meet with the instructor of my class who had announced to the class he had been called by a young lady who was looking for me. He gave me her number and I returned her call. Long story became longer as our dating by phone stretched into a short three years. She had graduated Nursing school and had moved to Phoenix.
    Short version, She was away from Little Rock, working at St. Joseph’s Hospital in Phoenix, and taking Catholic instruction by her own volition in Phoenix. We called and the combined bills were over a hundred dollars a month.
    We met, we engaged and started to plan a marriage a year out, then 8 months out, then moved the date again. We were married at the base chapel in front of both families, Honeymooned in Banff, Alberta, in the Canadian Rockies.. We remained married for 50 years, celebrating our golden anniversary July 4, 2014, and she passed Sept 17th to her reward in heaven.

    • Robyn Lee November 25, 2014 Reply

      Hugh, thank you for sharing your journey. Beautiful story!

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