Is Old-Fashioned Dating Cool Again?


old-fashion dating

I see posts and blogs on an almost daily basis that relate to dating and relationships, but few come as close to the mark as Kate Bailey’s post, “10 Old Fashioned Dating Habits We Should Make Cool Again.” In addition to the tips offered from Bailey’s post, I’d like to add my own suggestions too.

1. Coming to the door to pick someone up.

I think we’ve all had it with the incredibly unromantic “here” text, and meeting up always seems to be more casual and platonic than the alternative. Of course, meeting someone from online or any circumstance like that would probably be the exception to this rule, but generally: the 30 seconds it takes to get out of a car or cab and knock on the door makes a huge difference.

Every new relationship is a new opportunity to put our best foot forward. Meeting someone at their own front door is simply courteous—and certainly gets you brownie points with the parents or roommates. And what better way to show off a nice outfit than by walking up to the door?

2. Trying to dress really nicely for a date.

“Nicely” means different things for different people, so I think it’s just a matter of putting effort into how you put yourself together to go out with someone. It’s not about wearing suits and petticoats again, but just realizing that, whether or not we like to accept it, appearance does count for something, and we should do our best to make sure that our appearance says something about us, in whatever way we’d like it to.

This is a first impression—make a good one! Women usually put a lot of time and effort into picking clothes and hairstyles; for the guys, show that you appreciate her by looking your best as well. Make sure each of you knows the plans for the date so no one shows up in heels or a suit to a beach picnic. I was brought up believing that “one can never be overdressed,” but suitability is always a factor.

3. Bringing flowers or other tokens of affection to the first date.

Now, many lucky ladies (and some men) I know get this regularly, and in fact, I have myself as well, but only ever with people I’d been dating for a while. I think there’s something to be said for bringing flowers to the door on your first date. It’s become uncool because it’s forward and it’s a gesture that confirms their interest, but we should definitely get past that idea and worry more about how we’re going to let someone know we really do care and appreciate that they want to spend time with us.

I think this might be a little over the top, but moderation is the key. Does she like daisies? Bring her a few. Have you just returned from a trip? Give her a small souvenir. I’ve certainly never turned down a bottle of wine or chocolates! If she lives with others, think of it as a house gift—another simple courtesy.

4. Going dancing that’s not grinding on a grimy club floor.

Whatever happened to this? Dancing for the sake of dancing, like fun, not essentially sex on a dance floor dancing. What’s a better way to literally shake off nerves than seeing them bust a really dorky move on a dance floor? And the art of slow dancing has generally been lost, though I’ve been one to do it in my living room with my slightly coerced significant other, and I’ll tell you he’s said on numerous occasions it ended up being one of the most romantic nights we had together.

Dancing is a fun activity that can get rid of some of those first date jitters. In my area, there are multiple outlets for all sorts of dancing—ballroom, swing, and English country dancing are just some of the options. Often a dance lesson is offered before the actual dance, so no prior knowledge is necessary. It might make a good story to tell the grandkids!

5. Straightforwardly asking someone out and not calling it “hanging out.”

Or, as is very popular these days, “talking.” “Oh, we’re just… talking.” As in, seeing one another and speaking frequently as to get to know each other? So… dating? We’ve found these really convenient ways to skirt around the issue of having to put our hearts on the line, but honestly, it just ends up being messy and confusing for all parties involved. There’s no need to go back to the idea of courting or anything, unless you want to, but simply being direct about whether or not you’d like to go on a date with someone is a truly lost art, one that really shouldn’t be.

I’ve addressed this issue before and I still think it’s a huge problem in our society at large. Asking a woman on a date seems to be a lost art, as does taking “no” for an answer gracefully. If a man asks a woman on a date and makes plans for the date, there can be no confusion as to his intentions. “Hanging out” and “talking” are what I do with all of my platonic friends. If a man is thinking of initiating a romantic relationship, blurry lines have no place and will ultimately result in a lot of hurt feelings.

6. Additionally, being clear about when you’re “going steady.”

Oh, the awkward, “so… are we… you know… what are we?” talk. Classic. We should go back to asking one another if the other person would like to “go steady” or something. There’s something about asking them if they’d like to rather than assuming that you are or aren’t anything that’s just very cute, in my opinion.

There’s very little more I’d add to this, other than if you’ve gone on a few dates and one of the parties is not interested—end the relationship! It doesn’t matter if you’re dating or going steady. This advice is especially for the ladies. You are not doing the guy any favors by prolonging the relationship just to be nice. Don’t prolong something that isn’t meant to be. It will not end well.

7. Romantic gestures like writing poems.

Writing poems may not be for you, I know mine would look something like “Roses are red, violets are blue, I hate poetry but I love you.” I literally just made that up thank you please quote me when you inevitably post that gem on Tumblr. But seriously, like a handwritten letter in the mail or just surprising them with something you made even if it looks like the macaroni necklace you made when you were 5 is cute just because you tried and were thinking of them.

Truthfully, poems really aren’t my thing. I do appreciate letters (as in, handwritten snail mail letters) and musical serenades though. We all appreciate thoughtful gifts, especially ones that show that you’re attuned to the other’s likes and dislikes.

8. Turning electronics off and just being with one another.

I’m not sure there is anything worse than the person who picks up their phone and starts staring at it in the middle of dinner, or at any point while you’re together and having a conversation. I’m not anti-technology here (hello, I work for the Internet) but I am saying that there comes a time to turn it off and disconnect and remember what actually matters. People.

This goes for any human interaction. Being constantly distracted by our smartphones is the best way to show how little we really care for the people we’re with. There is a time and a place for electronics, but they certainly don’t belong on a date.

9. The general concept of asking permission for things.

It used to be principle for people to say: oh, when can I see you? Or, when could I call you? Rather than just assuming they can at any point. But I think that old concept could be applied to our modern world by just assuming that, unless told otherwise, you should ask permission to you know, touch them anywhere, take them out, call them at a certain time, etc. Once you’re in a relationship these things usually don’t require asking anymore, but some do, especially when it comes to sexuality. I once knew a person who said that they asked permission before so much as touching a girl’s thigh, and that always stuck with me.

Relating back to #8, some good guidelines to set down early in a relationship would be good times to talk—Is it okay to call during work hours? How late is too late? What you’re really asking is for a good time to have the other’s undivided attention. Asking permission about simple things not only opens lines of communication, but serves to make everyone comfortable and happy.

10. Not assuming sex is to be had at any point in time.

Now, I’m certainly not saying it should go back to being a taboo that’s unspoken of, but we certainly shouldn’t expect it from someone on the third date, on the first date, because they’re being flirty, because you know they’re into you, or even because they agreed to go out with you. A date does not have to be a precursor to sex, and you shouldn’t be disappointed if it isn’t because you should never assume that it will be. It depends on the person you’re with and what they want to do.

Catholic teaching is very clear about premarital sex. As Catholics we believe that sex is meant for marriage. There should never be expectations that go against either party’s morals. If someone constantly makes you uncomfortable about your religious beliefs, get rid of him or her—if not for your own soul, but for those of your future children’s souls.

A lot of these tips seem straightforward and common sense, but maybe it’s a good time to examine your past behavior on dates and step up your game!

What else are we missing from this list? Add your own old-fashioned dating tips in the comments below.






50 Comments

  1. Trudy-1031544 March 1, 2014 Reply

    I too would like to be asked on an old fashioned date at some point..

    You stand correct when you say that people tend to cover a request for a date up with something else like “wanna get some lunch”, but I guess that it is some kind of a ‘fail safe’ they build into their request. With regard to poetry I would say that it would be a little over the top for me..just knowing that the guy I’m interested in isn’t playing games with me and being honest ( yes that lonely, but very hard word) would be quite enough.

    • Curtis-1032804 March 30, 2014 Reply

      Trudy, would you like to go on a date. I write pretty dang good poetry?

  2. Robert-3483 March 1, 2014 Reply

    Old-school dating has been killed by the culture. The idea was to date lots of people with the intention of getting to know their personality and character, not using them. Holy Friendship as a foundation for marriage is also a matter of justice when you are able to love someone without eros being the sole means of attention.

    Because the culture does not merit chastity, holy friendships and even courtship die from lack of trust of each other. The four aspects of love are ignored and wither away. Friendship is a foundation for communion, which communities are based on. What are the four aspects of love? Answers below.

    “Foolproof Advice for Improving Your Love Life (with pictures)” by Emily Stimpson is a great read.
    https://www.catholicvote.org/foolproof-advice-for-improving-your-love-life-with-pictures/

    So also are the works of the Gentleman Saint that so few gentleman and ladies are familiar with.
    Hint: Intro to the Devout Life

  3. Meg-920823 March 2, 2014 Reply

    I agree. It can be hard to tell between a date and a friendly, ‘let’s meet and do something’. Regarding the going steady portion of the blog I think this is a big one. When is the day that both decide they will not go out with another? It is a fairly big step, especially when dating is viewed for the purpose of choosing a spouse. After two or three dates, I doubt one generally knows this is likely the one.

    • Curtis-1032804 March 30, 2014 Reply

      No, but it is enough time to know this is NOT the one, but that doesn’t stop women from making a big mistake! I know he’s a total jerk, but there’s just something about him, ya know?

  4. Frank-780947 March 2, 2014 Reply

    I on purpose dress up in sweat pants or shorts ( depending on the time of year) on a first date; which is generally, a casual dinner. I also drive my older vehicle. I find; as an older adult; women are very materialistic. My problem is that I’ve found too many only want to get to know me; because of what I do for a living. Any complaints on their part helps me weed them out.

    • Judy-1024919 March 3, 2014 Reply

      Frank,
      Anyone showing up for a date in sweats or shorts would turn any woman off unless she was truly desperate.
      We are not ALL looking for support, money, or whatever you are suggesting. It is just bad manners to show up like this and no woman likes a man with bad manners.

      Just sayin…….

      Judy

    • Janet-1011234 March 5, 2014 Reply

      Frank,

      I agree with Judy. I would not be inclined to go out with you again if you showed up in sweats on a first date. Money or what a person does is not important to me, it’s who they are on the inside. But caring about yourself to look neat and tidy says something to me.

      Janet

    • Curtis-1032804 March 30, 2014 Reply

      Franks onto something. This works for a lot of guys I know, but for them it is not intentional, they are just slackers, and the ladies eat it up! Go figure.

  5. Kimberlie-1059215 March 2, 2014 Reply

    I recently read a profile, of a man roughly my age, saying “if I can hook up with the right woman…” That was a huge turn off. Hooking up seems to be the culture today. I am a widow, so I have been married before, and I can say that when I met my late husband for the first date, I was dressed in a skirt and he had a suit on, and it made a huge difference in how I perceived him as a potential mate. Note: we met on-line back in the late 90′s when on-line dating was in it’s infancy, so we had a LDR for about 6 months.

    And Frank, I think the above reasons are probably why you are still single. You lump all women into the “materialistic” and “money obsessed” category. Just because a woman wants to see a man put his best foot forward, and can appreciate the hard work you have put in to gaining what you have, doesn’t make a woman materialistic.

  6. Michael-410923 March 2, 2014 Reply

    Many men have concerns that women see them as walking wallets. If a person says “I’m working as a professional [position]” the other should appreciate the hard work it takes to get and stay there, without having to demonstrate any material success. Material items are shallow celebrations of success.

    I don’t think a professional can ever be 100% sure. I would skip the sweat pants and wear some jeans and or nice pants. Then go to very inexpensive but interesting dates. Walking through a museum, etc. After a few dates, she could meet your friends and your friends might help if a date is materialistic (or to what extent). After 2 or 3 of those, well one can’t worry forever.

    A buddy of mine has a dad who is a doctor. The doctor is widowed, and rejects ladies because of the hypothesis that they are after his money. Understood. However, one time the doctor was set up on a date with a lady doctor and he wasn’t interested in her, either. hmmm.

    • Frank-780947 March 2, 2014 Reply

      I am your friends dad; except I was never widowed. And yes…I agree with his sentiments. Unless you’ve walked a mile in my shoes….you’ll never know.

      Not that you brought this up; but I find it ironic in this post concerning the way one dresses on a first date….yet look around your typical Sunday Mass in the summer. People in flip flops and shorts ……yet that doesn’t seem to be a problem.

      • Judy-1024919 March 3, 2014 Reply

        Frank,

        It would be if you were dating that person!

        Judy

      • Janet-1011234 March 5, 2014 Reply

        Frank,

        I agree, the way people dress at Mass these days is sad. I remember wearing dresses every Sunday and even now I only wear nice jeans on occasion. Most of the time I wear slacks or skirts. Maybe I’m the exception to the rule on dress expectations.

        Janet

        • Larry-1064445 March 5, 2014 Reply

          I wouldn’t dream of being seen at Mass without being properly dressed. For me that means a suit and tie without exception. It really bothers me when people have the clothes and will dress to the nines for a secular event or to meet a politician with no problem but resent being expected to look their best when meeting to worship the King of the Universe. Priorities are way out of whack these days. But hang in there Janet, trust that you are setting an example and are pleasing in the eyes of the Lord.

      • Curtis-1032804 March 30, 2014 Reply

        Well, I’ll say this, the “eh, this smells clean” look is en vogue here in charleston. Dates and mass alike.

  7. Alma-953915 March 2, 2014 Reply

    Old school is best; I find it to be the most romantic <3 Lovely article!

  8. Cheryl-1159 March 2, 2014 Reply

    I think this needs to be brought back! What a rare find this would be. When I was younger, this is what dating was for me. As I have gotten older, I haven’t dated as much, but have noticed that dating has changed. From what I have observed, there is much more casual friendship dating without intent of dating and casual partner circulation. I am looking for someone who is traditional and I think this type of old fashioned dating that is described here brings respect to a relationship and true intent to discern compatibility for marriage.

  9. Rita-933945 March 2, 2014 Reply

    I absolutely loved this article! Thank you for posting it!

  10. Larry-1064445 March 3, 2014 Reply

    I guess that I’m an old-fashioned guy at heart. Since my divorce, as I have begun dating again, I always wear a suit and tie, pick the lady up at her door (unless she prefers otherwise), always ask permission for everything, and as I am looking for a quality Catholic woman who shares my beliefs – I never assume that premarital sex will occur. The list here just seems to be Catholic Common Sense to me.
    On the front page of this website, there is a photo of a couple standing at the altar dressed for a traditional white wedding. I love that image. A couple dressed so beautifully, before God and the world, to profess and
    prepare to give themselves to each other completely is another thing that I was denied. If I am blessed enough to find someone to marry, I would hope that she would also prefer to be married in this fashion. :-)

    • Judy-1024919 March 3, 2014 Reply

      Thank you, Larry.

      It is good to know that there is at least one good Catholic man out there. Just continue what you said above and you will have all the women you want knocking at your door. I can’t tell you how refreshing your comments are. Thank you again.

      Judy

      • Larry-1064445 March 3, 2014 Reply

        Thank you Judy. I am just me, although I do feel like an increasing rarity in today’s world. My most immediate priority is to secure an annulment. After that, I will feel more confident in making myself available as a fully viable and sacramental partner, looking for that woman who appreciates me for who I am and what I believe. I have been amazed at how some ladies actually resent me holding doors for them! One lesson I learned from my failed marriage is that I cannot allow anyone to change me (or try to change me) from who I am, especially in my relationship with God and His church. Dating after all this time is a unique experience and not for the squeamish. I must continue to pray that the Lord will lead me to the soul mate that I believe exists for me.

      • Frank-780947 March 5, 2014 Reply

        I replied to Lori….and my comments are applicable to you as well.

        • Larry-1064445 March 5, 2014 Reply

          Hi Frank, I read your reply to Lori and I have a few points in response. I, too, have had to be careful with avoiding women with the wrong intentions but that’s what the dating process is all about.
          As far as attire goes, for me it’s about self-respect. I am not a wealthy man but I make it a priority to have proper dress clothes for my worship time and lay ministries. When meeting a lady for the first time, or first few times, I feel that it’s important to put my best foot forward, showing her that I appreciate her taking the time to get to know me and so that whenever she looks at me she knows that respect her, myself, and the whole situation.

  11. Lori-1020607 March 3, 2014 Reply

    If you are Catholic, there is no other fashion to be married Larry. Regarding the article, a date should be a date and lunch just be lunch. Say what you mean, be honest.

    • Larry-1064445 March 3, 2014 Reply

      I agree Lori but my ex-wife did not. She had a negative self-image and did not want the big wedding/dress scene. Looking back, I think that was an early sign of the lack of compromise on her part that would eventually implode our marriage, but love can be blind, especially when you’re 23 years old. ;-)

  12. Ann-69118 March 3, 2014 Reply

    I’m old school but have yet to meet at guy that is. That doesn’t mean I think a guys should have to pay all the time but I do think they should do all the nice things like walk a girl to her car, hold the door for her, or bring flowers ask her out instead of expecting her to do all the work and plan everything. I’ve never had a guy even just bring flowers.

  13. Lori-1020607 March 3, 2014 Reply

    Frank, sweats, yuck. That says I don’t care about me or you. Sweats are for lounging at home not a casual date. I don’t care how much money you have, yuck is yuck.

    • Frank-780947 March 5, 2014 Reply

      Lori;

      You and everyone else can yuck all you want. I do it to weed out “material gals.” Secondly…..it’s how I am away from my office. If you haven’t figured it out yet….I’m a doctor. You’d be surprised to see how gals think I should “wine and dine ” them from the get go. Dated a gal who had no problem with spending $500 on sunglasses and $1500 for a handbag. She had this idea that her mate owed her a certain life style. It would be obvious to say we didn’t last long as a couple.

  14. BIll-154597 March 3, 2014 Reply

    How many men can afford to date the old fashion way?

    Also if the man is setting the agenda and paying for the cost, accept what he wants or move on.

    • Natasha-1036143 March 4, 2014 Reply

      Don’t worry, Bill. Any woman with standards would do just that: move on.

      A date doesn’t have to be expensive. The point is that the man isn’t just paying for the dinner. He is paying for the privilege of the lady’s company. By doing that, he shows respect for the woman he has asked out. He is showing that he would be able to take care of her and protect her. If he can’t do something pleasant like planning and paying for a date, then he certainly won’t do anything less pleasant, like taking out the trash, helping with dishes, or changing a baby’s stinky diaper.

      • BIll-154597 March 5, 2014 Reply

        So how does the woman show any sign of respect for the man who asked her out?

      • BIll-154597 March 5, 2014 Reply

        Natasha, you might want to open your eyes and ears and realize that thanks in large part to ‘same sex marriage’, dating, relationships and marriage are now ‘gender neutral’. Women should be capable of taking care of themselves, paying their own bills, walked to their car with out an escort late at night, carrying their own stuff, ect. Being a single mother working a full time job and with no one to help you except for child support payments should be no big issue to today’s independent woman.

        The privilege of a lady’s company? Lady is now a four letter word.

        • Cynthia-875784 March 5, 2014 Reply

          Wow. You sound incredibly bitter. My hope is that you are just playing devil’s advocate but your last line makes me fear otherwise.

          I raised 6 sons. My only regret in not having a daughter is that my sons grew up with me as their only reference point regarding females. And, as all sons will tell you, mothers are not women. We are moms.

          I have tried to teach them, by word and by example, that women are not creatures from outer space. We are not some mysterious beings that they can never understand, despite what television and movies say. We just want what men want – to be treated with respect, courtesy and honesty. Maybe we do show our emotions a bit more easily but that should make us easier to understand, not harder. Maybe I’m different than “most” women. I grew up in a male dominated family (the only girl with three brothers) and my late husband and I had the six sons. So, maybe I am more understanding of the male mindset than some other women. But it seems to me that we are all human and just want to be treated as you would treat any other human.

        • Natasha-1036143 March 6, 2014 Reply

          Bill, my 1st and 2nd grade students were actually talking about marriage in religion yesterday. I asked them who gets married. Can two men get married? Can two women get married? (Their horror at those questions was praiseworthy.) One of the first grade boys raised his hand then to say that he had just realized why a man and a woman get married: “It’s so the man can protect the woman.” He realized that because God wanted Adam to protect Eve. Adam clearly didn’t, but he was supposed to. Look at what happened when he didn’t protect her. No wonder the world’s in a pickle.

          I don’t care what the world says. God did not make human beings ‘gender neutral’. God gave men and women special, complimentary roles. Men protect. Women nurture. That’s the way God made us. Yes, it is possible to defy those roles, but it doesn’t seem to help anyone.

          For the record, being a lady does not mean being weak. I know how to change a tire, add oil to my car, replace windshield wipers, take care of the cows and calves, help get up hay from the hayfield, load and shoot a gun, etc. I am fully capable of taking care of myself. Even so, I’m not going to settle for a man who treats me like dirt under his feet. I am going to work and wait for a man who sees that I am special and treats me like a lady and a princess. (This does not require frequent or expensive gifts. And, yes, I happen to know that there are men like this. I’ve met them.) Any man who treats a woman like that is a prince among men, and I will treat him as one.

          • BIll-154597 March 7, 2014 Reply

            Natasha : what do you need a husband for if you can do all that?

            For the record does ‘lady’ mean greedy? Did you see about the first Catholic ‘First Lady’ In Virginia History being indicted for bribes to support her lifestyle and her daughter’s ‘catholic’ wedding? The Governor’s Salary of $170,000 was not enough, so now her and her husband her federal felony charges against them? Is that the type of ‘lady’ you refer to?

            “Princess” is also not a positive word: think Marie Antoinette or Grace Kelly.

            To get back to the subject, is it worthwhile for men to date the ‘old fashion way’? More and more say no

          • Michael-1067922 March 8, 2014 Reply

            you are a dream gal.
            never give up on meeting a good man. they are scarce though.
            mjm

          • Natasha-1036143 March 10, 2014 Reply

            Thanks, Michael. I don’t intend to give up.

            Bill, if you think (pretend) that lady means “greedy”, then why are you even worried about “old fashioned dating”? If you set a raccoon trap, don’t expect to catch a bear in it.

            For your information, I believe that with the right man I would be able to become a far better person than I could become on my own.

  15. Robert W. March 4, 2014 Reply

    Your blog begs the question of :”What is one’s definition of……..?” Unfortunately, a lot has gone out the window because of online dating sites (like this one!) and the long distance relationships that develop as a result.

    I’m curious, Is that the scene in “It’s a Wonderful Life” before Donna Reed meets Jimmy Stewart?

  16. Paula-1057169 March 4, 2014 Reply

    Larry’
    It is great tohear your feelings about relationships..you seem tobe a very considerate catholic man…IloveJesus and he is first inmy life and I long tomeet my soul mate to love Jesus with…Thank you

  17. Joe-786218 March 4, 2014 Reply

    The culture made old fashioned dating mostly go away. Just have a few comments:

    First dates (and very often second dates as well) almost always involve meeting at a public place so the opportunity to pick up a date at her home is rare. I attribute that one to a lack of trust at the beginning. She wants to feel safe, he wants to be sure she’s not crazy, I get that. Still room for common courtesies like opening doors, etc.

    Regarding paying for dates, I’m good with that as I’m doing the asking and setting the agenda. But I don’t like spending a lot as I’ve done that far too often when there was nothing there. So no dinner. But yes to fun activities that don’t cost too much. Like partner dancing, just to name one example. Objective of the first couple of dates is to find out if we get along.

    Buying flowers for an initial date smacks of “trying too hard” to most women in my experience. I can’t read her mind to find out she might be that rare woman who actually appreciates such a gesture without putting me in the friend zone. But nothing wrong with flowers later on as I will have had the opportunity to sniff out her floral preferences. Or lack of them.

    Checking text and voice messages and/or taking calls in front of me is a huge red flag: she is disrespecting my time and she better have a good reason for it, otherwise I stop being interested right there. I respect her time with me and I expect the same from her. So no taking phones out unless we’re showing each other pictures.

  18. Thomas-965612 March 4, 2014 Reply

    Tom
    I strongly believe in good manners. Although I feel fine with opening a car door for a date, I’m hesitant because I’m afraid that my date will misconstrue this as my being phony. What do you think?

  19. Cynthia-875784 March 4, 2014 Reply

    My son likes to get to know a girl before asking her out. Unfortunately, by the time he decides that she is someone he would like to date, she considers him a friend. This has resulted in misunderstandings when he asks her to a movie, for example. She thinks they are going as completely platonic friends. I taught him to ask, instead, “Would you like to go on a date with me, possibly to a movie?” It’s a matter of making your intentions clear.

  20. Patrick-1031542 March 5, 2014 Reply

    Online dating can be dangerous, especially for women. I try to give them enough information in my early contacts so they can check me out on line if they are of a mind to. I do not insist on knowing where they live until they are ready to tell me. (they can find my address from the info I have given them if they look at all).

    I insist on opening doors, seating a woman, and standing when she approaches of leaves.

    With my current Lady, we talked on the phone and email for 3 weeks before we met as we live 200 miles apart and have severely conflicted schedules. We had already talked about several big questions relating to possible marriage. On the first date, I told her that I was overcome by her beauty and did not trust myself with touching. I told her that I would follow, where she lead but that intercourse was out until we were married.

    I try to be as up front as possible. If that upsets a date, well, I am looking for a wife and that would be a major disqualifier. The sooner in the relationship it happens, the better.

    A woman who settles for a man who does not romance her in the old fashioned way (suitably modified for the modern world) is settling for second best, or worse.

  21. John-1046049 March 5, 2014 Reply

    Opening doors, flowers and dancing are all great, but the best ingredient for a really romantic date is to see the other person through the eyes of Christ…because that leads to a level of kindness, respect and honor that can only come from God. Men, myself included, especially need to pray for the Grace to see their dates as God does, and not as our culture does…

  22. Janet-1011234 March 5, 2014 Reply

    In general I agree with the cell phone rule, however I do have one exception. I have three kids and if they need to contact me, I want them to be able to. So if my phone goes off, I will check to see who it is. If it is one of my kids, then I will excuse myself to check the message to see if it is important or if it can wait.

  23. Curtis-1032804 March 30, 2014 Reply

    Where’s my Delorian? I need to get back—-to the past!

  24. Carole-1080999 April 22, 2014 Reply

    What interesting posts. ! Some good thinkers ! Was married twice, both men deceased . Both men different . My second husband always dressed great .In fact he took longer to get dressed than I did,however, he was always a gentleman. I am not a Princess or a high maintenance gal .But, I like to look good and clean.( I would rather look at home and product stores than woman’s clothing stores. )But I think looking clean, and caring how one presents himself to another ,with good manners ,kindness and ,honesty, should supersede ones first opinion of a date.I remember one time in high school.I liked this guy,he was a good friend,kind friend , of my family. He asked if I wanted to go to the Ice Capades ,and I said yes.Well ,when he showed up at my house, I was taken aback! He was wearing a clean plaid flannel shirt ,and work jeans ( no designer jeans in those days . and I in a nice cotton dress and flats, nails ,and hair done .High schoolers think ………… Fancy clothes ,Fancy car, etc etc. While it bothered me for a moment, He was clean,sweet,generous, kind, and was a farmer ,a hard worker , and showed me a wonderful time ! While he was not a big spender, I knew that his money, lifestyle, and ways,were somewhat limited. They were people who lived off the land. Today ,I still have most of the same ideas I had then,but I try not to always judge a book by its cover ! (Look at that wonderful talented singer from England.). ! ! God Bless All. CAROLE

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