» Choleric and Melancholic


You will both have strong commitment to your relationship. You will relate well on the level of ideals and ideas, though your approaches to work and your motivational styles are very different. The choleric is action-oriented, while the melancholic takes a long time to change and move. Sometimes, the melancholic’s slowness and lack of responsiveness will frustrate the choleric.

The choleric’s pragmatism and outcome-orientation may offend the melancholic’s love of truth and justice, and may run counter to his idealistic romanticism. The choleric will be willing to bend rules, in the interest of achieving a greater good, whereas the melancholic will not. The melancholic will value security, while the choleric may be intrigued by adventure. Both partners will hold onto hurts for a long time — so learn to forgive and forget! The choleric can be blunt, while the melancholic takes a long time to say what he means, and is easily wounded. A choleric can be overly pragmatic, and scoff at the melancholic partner’s deep sensitivity. He might also react angrily to melancholic’s pessimistic complaints, sensing a lack of loyalty or criticism.

Both are leaders, though the melancholic is much more “behind the scenes.” The choleric may try to take the lead in this relationship, with the melancholic exerting subtle, even passive-aggressive, control. The melancholic should try not to withdraw, be overly critical, or piously rigid, or the choleric may become oppositional or even angry. The choleric partner needs to understand that nobody is as productive as he is. Melancholics have a hard time expressing appreciation, and cholerics really need a lot of appreciation—though they won’t admit it!